The future is Hope beyond
by mingathur
Summary: Written based on the paradox ending, *spoilers ahead if one has not finished the game. About friendship, about despair... About Hope.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: A reason to live

Author's words: I did not like FF-XIII-2's ending, this is written based on the paradox ending, 'The future is Hope', which I feel is the best one among all. At least Serah is reunited with her love and genuinely happy, Noel is stuck with Hope in Academia 4XX, which is not such a bad thing. (I would not mind being stuck with Hope.) This is a story about friendship, about sorrow and above all…

About Hope. Enjoy

ooo

_Noel Kriess did not have many friends.  
It's not as if he was unsociable or hostile or weird in any way, it simply stood as a fact that there aren't too many people he could socialize with in his world._

When he was born, humanity consisted of a grand total of 23 people. Three dying from ailments associate with excessive sun exposure and ingesting something fatal, including his parents. Resultantly, he could not remember what they looked like.

_As he grew up, some of the children who were sharpening arrowheads with him one day would disappear the next, having being mauled to death by some behemoth. Funerals were simple, unemotional events. Families would recover as much as they could of the deceased and build a bonfire. Others would stand around in silence as the body was burnt, then use the heat for roasting game, or boiling water. The eldest of the eldest would tell grim stories told to them by their father's father, of a time were the world was green and filled with food and how humans destroyed it. The younglings would drool and try in vain to pretend that the vegetable root in hand was a fresh strawberry. They were few, but it was a world where each was for his own. _

_Eventually everything got so scarce that people killed each other over supplies, over shelter, over a freshly picked peach, then a plague killed the rest. By the time Noel hit sixteen, his world consisted of only two people. Caius and Yeul. He understood that he was born into a generation of Guardians meant to guard the Seeress, it was his life mission, his reason to exist. But his world finally collapsed when Yeul died in his arms..._

And when Caius left, he stopped believing in friends, he knew that in order to survive, one must be independent, there is no one who could be relied on. People are for making use of, it was the survival of the fittest.

He had kinda liked Hope ever since they first met in Yascchas Massif in AF 10. Hope was a humble, reserved and capable man, and he radiated the same kind of sorrow that Caius did, to have lived some and lost a lot. He does not smile alot, but when he smiles, the girls swoon. Noel found that trait kinda cool and extremely amusing.

Ooo

AF 4XX

Hope was as usual, quiet, but even more so today. He saw to the necessary arrangements to have Alyssa handed over to the relevant department for questioning.

"Mr Estheim, we know that she's your personal assistant, but this is an act of high treason. Her actions could have doomed the populace. If need be, we will use more extreme methods to find out what she is really up to. We hope you understand."

Hope only nodded then, and Noel did not fail to catch an undertone of bitterness as he said. "I understand Eric, use whatever ways you deem necessary."

"Thank you, Emeritus."

"Don't call me that."

"Well, you're supposed to call me Five, Hope." The other man reminded with a smile.

The rest of the day was spent recalibrating the graviton cores to ensure nothing was sabotaged and he followed Hope to meetings where the new Cocoon's blueprint was drawn up and the phases of population relocation planned. There was enough nitty-gritty details to give Noel a headache that was sure to last for days. But Hope seemed to take it in his strides, he was meticulous and excellent in his work. And Noel began to wonder if he was human, he did not stop to eat, nor to think about Alyssa's betrayal. Noel knew he would be angry and upset if anything like that ever happened to him, but there was no discernable response from Hope.

Noel was very hungry by mid-evening, but he tailed Hope like a shadow and refused to be thwarted by his hunger. He was a hunter, he had gone on for days without sustenance before, this is nothing. He ignored and stuck to Hope even when the other researchers looked at him like he was some filthy riff-raff. He kept his eyes and ears opened, knowing that one of these people might kill Hope in three day's time...

At some point, it was finally his growling stomach that made Hope look up from his work and gasp at the time.

Mortified, Noel tried to shrug off Hope's questioning gaze. Hope's eyes were gentle but sad, "It seems like...you're really gonna stick to me."

"Of course." He said, surprised. "Who's gonna protect you?"

"I don't think you can protect anyone if you are hungry..." Hope teased, then grabbed some documents and stood up. "Let's go."

"Go where?"

"To my house, you need a place to sleep, don't you? I'll whip up something for dinner."

"Okay…" Noel agreed, food sounded good.

Ooo

Hope's casual 'something' turned out to be a magnificent delicacy beyond Noel's wildest imagination. His mouth was almost watering as Hope set the plate down on the dining table along with silver cutlery. It smelt wonderful and looked delicious, there were fragrant spices mixed into the creamy white sauce.

"What's this?"

"This...?" Hope hesitated, as if unused to having to explain what he cooked. "...Is baked fish with mushroom sauce, asparagus and potato salad, coupled with pumpkin soup. Nothing fancy, I hope you don't mind my cooking. I've been told it's a little bland..."

"Can I really eat this?" Noel gushed, most of the worlds they visit were rural and lost. Hence he and Serah usually resorted to scavenging for meal options, it was usually roasted behemoth with ground vegetables and wild berries. Behemoth meat was leathery and had a strange metallic aftertaste, Noel considered the berries a treat, but it gave Serah an upset stomach more than once.

Hope only widened his eyes, bemused, then consented. "Dig in."

Noel was delighted, he began to wolf down the contends of the dish.

"Aren't you gonna use the fork and knife...?" Hope asked gingerly, and Noel stopped only long enough to lick mushroom sauce from his thumb, then shook his head. He did not know what those were, they usually eat with their hands.

_The fish! It was the first time he had fish. It had a soft and fluffy texture and each flake parted readily from the last, the mushrooms were fresh, fragrant and well-sautéed, the potato salad was divine, the asparagus! He had hardly seen any vegetable so healthy and green and crunchy and sweet._

It was only when Noel had licked the plate clean that he realized Hope was staring at him in wide-eye wonder. Suddenly, he became worried that he had accidentally eaten both their shares. He put the plate down and asked consciously , "Erm...what?"

"No...Nothing..." Hope said, "It's just...you finished everything in under four minutes..."

Noel sighed in relief, noting that Hope had another plateful just like his, but had not yet put the first forkful of fish into his mouth, he did not look quite as appetized as Noel.

"It's good!" Noel said, then looked hopefully at Hope, who nodded as he took the empty dish to the kitchen and ladled out the last of the soup and heaped more potato salad onto Noel's plate. Then set it down before him once again, "Finish up, if you're still hungry we can have dessert."

"What's that?" Noel asked in spite of himself.

Ooo

"Do you eat like this every day?" Noel asked after he devoured a one-liter tub of chocomint ice-cream all on his own, they were sitting in front of a film of moving pictures, Hope said it was called a TV. And Hope had insisted he bathed and changed into something clean, Noel's own usual clothes are tumbling around in the the wash, which Hope assured will run itself and deliver the clothing nice and dry in two hours odd.

"Erm, no. I usually don't eat desserts." Hope replied uncertainly.

"Not the I creme!" Noel said, "Like this! The fish, the tasty mushrooms, asparagus so green." With a moment of afterthought as he licked the spoon, he looked Hope in the eye and complimented. "You're a great cook, you know."

Hope was taken aback, but evidently glowing with pride, and also a little embarrassed as he coughed twice and awkwardly hooked a stray strand of silver behind his ear.

"Thank you." Then added with a small sigh, "Anyone can cook well if the ingredients are fresh. Academia was built atop a lake...Whenever it rains, a filtration system would cleanse the rainwater as it flows down, then pump it into people's homes. The farmlands are mostly on the lowest peripheral areas to capture sunlight and let the cattle graze. We are self-sustainable, everything we ate just now was homegrown, even the fish fillet was from the lake."

"Hmm, what about this, Hope? The I creme?"

Hope laughed, "It's made from sheep's milk, they produce good quality wool too. And anyway, it's ice-cream."

Noel rehearsed the word a few times, with Hope trying to correct him and sighing every time.

Eventually Noel looked into the empty ice-cream tub, and thought of Yeul, with a bitter-sweetness in his heart...

_Will she ever get a chance to see and taste this world that Hope had built? When she died in his arms and smiled serenely at him, was she having a vision of a world where cars float off the ground and travelled at super-sonic speeds, where water was crystal clear and flowed from metal pipes, and vegetables were plump and the land fertile and abundant? This is a place where every child was given a chance at education, and people will not kill each other over a peach._

"Noel...?" Hope asked in concern, bringing him out of his dark thoughts.

"Nothing..I just wished...Yeul could see this...?"

"Who's Yeul...?"

Noel shook his head, then looked directly into Hope's sky blue eyes.

"I'll guard you with my life."

"...What?" Hope muttered in surprise.

"I believe what that big-headed idiot said, the world could only be like this... if there's you, Hope."

"Big-headed idiot..." Hope repeated thoughtfully. "Tell me Noel, what's the world like? Your world. I know Serah explained who you are and what you guys are doing. But I can't wrap my head around it."

Noel looked at him, hesitating, there was nothing proud for him to speak of in his world.

"Who's Yeul?" Hope pressed, curling up on the couch and hugging a down pillow to his tummy.

"The oracle drive..." Noel began, "Is a recording of all the prophecies that Yeul has ever seen, past, present and future."

Hope widened his eyes, "The undying Seeress of Paddra..."

"A Seeress, but hardly undying. Seeing the future takes a huge toll on the life-force, the Yeul I know died when she was only fifteen. Caius is her guardian, but a guardian has no power over mortality. Caius is the undying one."

"Oh my...It must have been...terrible...For Caius, I mean."

"Why do you say that...?"

Hope looked strangely pensive. "I've screen through most of the memories in the oracle drive, enough to memorize some of their contends. When I fell asleep in the year AF 13..." Hope closed his eyes, sighing.

"I... already knew which of my colleagues would be swallowed in the paradox flux and turned into red orbs...I have seen many things, many possibilities. I've seen Serah dead, you dead...Mog dead...Lightning encased in crystal stasis. I tried...to warn them, to change history. But...it never worked...That feeling of helplessness…is horrible." Hope whispered, his hold on the pillow tightened.

"Noel...you don't have to do anything to protect me, I am prepared to die in three day's time, if I lived...chances are I'll only become another paradox. Someone else will take up my mantle where I fell, someone always will, that's how humans are. I don't believe what Snow said, I don't believe that I'm the only one who can build humans a future. I'm not special, I'm no fal'cie. I just...believe, and sometimes I believe too much. Just take Alyssa..." He trailed off, such utter anguish on his features.

"Hope…"

Hope shook his head, and whispered grimly. "Alyssa is a good example that I err, I should have suspected that she was working for Caius all along, I should have noticed her disappearances..."

"No Hope, it's..." But Hope would not let him finish.

"I apologize...to you, to Serah...my oversight could have cost you your lives."

"Hope...it's not You fault, it's not as if you betrayed us..." Noel tried to laugh it off. But Hope was not having it.

"I believed her, that we are the same, that we would give anything to save the future, that's why she was the one person I asked to come to the future with me, that's why I confided in her. It was stupid, Noel. I was wrong..."

"Don't say that. You're doing your best and you've been a great help to us! And...it's not selfishness to want to save yourself, it's a simple instinct of self-preservation, surely there's no fault in that."

Hope only shook his head. "I'm not afraid to die, and I thought she was the same…"

Noel was rendered speechless, he had thought that anyone will be afraid if they were told that they will be assassinated in three day's time. But there Hope was, saying all that without a trace of fear in his eyes, his voice. It made sense, when he pieced Hope's words with his actions, all that Hope did today was what he had done in AF 10, to set it up, and let others take over and take credit.

"...You're an idiot..." Noel muttered eventually. Oddly enough Hope did not get angry.

"Funny...Alyssa always said that."

Ooo

"These are the changes to the city layout that should be made. These are just suggestions, we will have to discuss it with the architects. I have a new design for the water tanks in the new cocoon. Phase one of the movement should be..." Noel watched in amazement as Hope dished out instructions, wondering if Hope slept at all after retreating to his room last night.

"Mr Estheim..." One of the female researchers asked, her uniform was different, it was somewhat more expensive looking.

"Elaine? Just call me Hope, please. Yes?"

"...You looked tired." She muttered.

Hope smile gently, "What's new? Hey, has the rendered gravitation levitation field diagrams emerged? I would like to have a look."

"Yes...but..."

"But...?" questioned Hope.

"We...The council of thirteen has voted and we have decided you need a holiday!"

"Huh?" Both Noel and Hope went, before both of them were swiftly, ruthlessly and unceremoniously ejected from the building.

"What was that?!" Noel exclaimed as he shook the dust off himself outside the main building. Hope was equally stunned, but they were a littler gentler in shoving him out of the premises.

"I can't believe it..." Hope said quietly, then sighed. "Let's go, Noel..."

"Huh? What about your work?!" He asked incredulously as Hope started walking away.

Hope stopped in his tracks, turning around to face Noel. "Don't you see? Because of what happened, they don't trust me anymore..."

"What?" Noel muttered, "But you're not Alyssa..."

"It doesn't matter...Alyssa came here by my endorsement. The Council of thirteen are the current governing leaders of Academia. Elaine is Thirteen, domestic affairs. Eric, the man earlier is Five, he's the police commissioner. Number One is the current director, the woman chairing the first meeting. When we woke up, I simply walked up to them and asked if I could help further the research. It was nice of them to offer me a job title and put me on payroll, but the fact remains...that I am an outsider in this time. I think I have made them a little nervous, they have been tracking me, probably looking for an excuse to be rid of me for a while...now they succeeded."

"That's not true!" Noel cried, "You don't know how important you are! You founded the Academy! You laid the groundwork of this place! They can't just undermine your achievements! They...they don't know what they are doing..."

"Too bad, they are also in-charged." Hope said simply, Noel's insides boiled.

"It's not fair...How can they do this to you?!"

"No use shouting about it...this is called politics." Hope said whimsically, then cautioned Noel, "No, you can't simply kill them, they are not monsters."

Noel was startled, Hope had read him like a book. And it was the first time he realized that people can be so much scarier than monsters...

"I'm going home to work...it's up to you whether you want to follow me. It will be boring." Hope warned.

_Noel could hardly believe his ears, Hope is still going to work hard for these ungrateful people._

"No, come!" He grabbed Hope's arm, "Let's find something we can kill!"

"What...?" Hope exclaimed as he permitted himself to be dragged off by a suddenly very enthusiastic Noel.

Ooo

"Hit 'em hard, Hope!"

Hope raised his boomerang, and fireballs struck the creature repeatedly without him muttering a single incantation. Noel whistled as he lunged forward, bringing his swords to bear, cutting the creature down further.

Due to elemental weakness and skill, the damage Hope dealt was massive. Suddenly Hope changed his gesture, "Firaga." as Noel dished out his final attack. It was the finishing blow that put the creature out of his misery.\

"Take that!" Noel shouted triumphantly as he sheathed his swords, Hope kept his boomerang behind him, wiping prespiration from his brow. The Chocobo-eater came crashing mightily to the ground, sending up a massive screen of sand and smoke.

"Goodness, they did it!" exclaimed the owner of the Chocobo farm.

_Noel had brought them to the periphery of Academia's base and there they began slaughtering monsters much to the delight of the farmers and the researchers on site. Eventually it was a distraught Chocobo farmer who asked Noel for help to kill the beast that has been devouring his Chocobos. Hope agreed that they should help the poor man out, the man almost fainted with glee. Of course he recognized Hope, who didn't?_

Now the middle aged man who was bigger in the middle than anywhere else hopped forward with surprising stealth and gave each of them a bone-crushing hug, threatening to kiss them. "Ye lads did it, me'chocobos are saved! Thank you thank you!" Noel watched as Hope reluctantly received a generous armload of mimett-a luxury in Noel's time, an alcoholic drink made of fermented gyshl greens-from the man. Noel's mood was marginally better after sweating it out, and he tossed his hair back and stretched.

"That was fun...!" He thrilled, Hope smiled, suddenly looking a few years younger.

"Feels good doesn't it? To know that you're helping someone out." Noel asked.

Hope looked thoughtful for a moment or two, then nodded. "Let's go for lunch, I haven't had a chance to show you around Academia. Let's go for a walk before we go back." Hope said.

Noel did not think it was such a good idea. "Erm... Are you sure you can even walk around in Academia?"

"Why not?" Hope questioned after a moment.

Noel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You don't understand your current status."

"What status? I'm just a jobless guy lost in time, remember? It will be fine." Hope assured.

Ooo

Noel was right, and Hope was not.

Back in Academia they could hardly take five consecutive steps on the streets without someone squealing, gushing or screaming, 'Oh my God! Mr Estheim! It's Hope Estheim!" And crowds engulfed Noel and Hope, trying means and ways to touch some part of the latter. By the time Noel managed to rescue Hope from being mobbed, Hope had shook hands with seemingly half the town, posed for photographs, autographed for schoolgirls, been asked to form a boy band with Noel and made to hold a newborn. Some of the silver adornments on his uniform had been mysteriously plucked off. What made Noel glad was that many of the citizens expressed their gratitude for what Hope had done and thanked him for his sacrifice. They squeezed through the crowd, awaiting a chance to shake Hope's hand and say thank you, or just give him a friendly pat on the back. The ever-shy Hope was so mortified with his deity-like celebrity status that he froze up and stammered repeatedly, 'You're welcome...it was nothing.'

Eventually, at the lunch place, the boss would not let Hope pay, the ramen chef was apparently related to the Chocobo farmer by blood. In turn, Hope insisted that he took all the mimett.

Ooo

"Elaine called, she says I need not go back to work tomorrow either..." Hope whispered miserably.

"Then don't go back, you don't need them. You are not 'Just a jobless guy lost in time.'" Noel remarked once they were alone on a vintage point that overlooks Academia. In a distance was the setting sun, beautiful and glorious, shrouded by it's crown of red and orange aura.

Hope did not reply, he folded his arms on the fence and rested his head in the nook of his elbow, there seemed to be something bothering him.

"I never knew...never thought..." He cut himself off, simply at a loss for words. "All this while, I was just...giving my best. Aiming to save the people I love..."

"You love humanity then..." Noel suggested before Hope could continue, Hope did not look at him.

"Hope..." Noel sighed, "Listen. When some people die, it's like a mere ripple in the ocean, but when great men die, it's not about them, but about who they are and what they represent..."

"I'm no great man..." Hope objected.

"Too bad, the townspeople think so...I think so too. So you can't die, you're legend."

Hope did not respond, only continued looking in a distance as if the conversation had nothing to do with him.  
"Hope." Noel pressed, "If you are killed, can you imagine the chaos? These people hero-worship you..."

"Therefore..." Hope whispered, his voice muffled by the fabric on his sleeve? "...I'm obligated to stay alive somehow? Because I represent something, I am not permitted to die...Just because that something would die with me...? Is that it? How different am I from a C'ieth then?"

Noel sensed that he had said something that rubbed the wrong way.

Hope took a deep breath, then breathed it out very slowly. He buried his head in his folded arms then, such that Noel could not see the agony on his face.

"How laughable." He whispered in mockery of himself.

"Hope." Noel touched his shoulders, but Hope slapped his hand off indignantly.

"Don't touch me." He said coldly, and Noel realized that the similarity between Hope and Caius grew stronger, it was the moment when sorrow became despair.

"Admit it, you are the same as Alyssa, as the council of thirteen...You're just making use of me."

"That's not true!" He protested.

"Listen to yourself, Noel." Hope said, "I'm only alive today in this time because I chose to be, but what right have you to interfere with my choice when I chose to stop existing if you don't care for me as merely a person...? I don't know what happened between you and Yeul or Caius, but I am not them..."

Noel was suddenly afraid, he had been good friends with one great man who was eventually broken by despair. Now they were friends no more.

_Noel realized in shame that somehow he had been using Hope as a mere substitute, a little bit of both Yeul and Caius. He had anchored his existence to guarding Hope's life, and demanded that Hope be great just like Caius. Hope has noticed it, and it has cut him deeply._

He knew then that he had been a coward. Just like when Yeul died, he could not face the fact of his own existence without her...His fist tightened.

"I thought you were my friend..." Hope whispered brokenly, the expression on his face so grieved it beggared description. With that, Noel felt a little part of him break. Realizing for the first time how alone Hope was.

_Hope had been betrayed by the one friend whom he thought he could trust, banished from the one place he fought to build, rejected as an individual by the only person beside him.  
_  
"I don't know what you truly expect of me, but it won't happen. I'm sorry, Noel..."

Noel could not find words, but before he could find something proper to say, his mouth went off faster than his brain.

He snarled. "Who would want be your friend?!"

Hope only widened his eyes, pain so apparent in them.

"You're just a coward...!" He went on, unsure whether he was talking to Hope or to himself, his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"You're just afraid to be left behind!"

Hope's expression darkened, and for an instant he looked like he might strike Noel, and Noel would let him. The moment passed and Hope simply looked down in disappointment, Noel would have very much rather have Hope hit him…he deserved it.

A time space distortion suddenly appeared behind Hope, and Noel knew something was terribly wrong when dark energy started congealing in the depth of the space.

"Hope, get down!"

Hope's eyes widened fractionally, the swiftly did as he was told, flattening himself on the ground. Unfortunately for Noel, in his haste to save Hope did not have sufficient time to duck. A ball of pure chaos energy shot out of the distortion and hit him on the right side of his chest, it's force knocking him backwards. He crashed into the fence with an impact human bones are not built to withstand, in that instant he felt his collarbone snap, he cried out sharply.

"Noel!" Hope got up and started running towards him, but another round blasted past Hope's right arm, burning through uniform and flesh. Noel threw himself to the one side and the round melted the dented fence, it's force undiminished as it slammed into an office building.

That was when the screaming started, people poured out onto the streets, looking for the source of the destruction.

Ooo

Hope used one hand to cover over his wound in shock, blood and charred flesh met his fingers, the pain was excruciating.

"So you are Hope Estheim. Blessed of Etro..." Someone droned behind him, and a gloved hand leisurely sifted through his hair, causing the fine hairs on the back of his neck to rise involuntarily. Then the same hand grabbed and twisted his arm such that white-hot agony shot through his body, he bit his lip to prevent himself from crying out. The force spun him around, it was either that or dislodge his shoulder joint.

The man appeared to be examining his wrist, his thumb tracing over where the l'ciel brand once was. "Ah...You have lost the power...Alyssa had lied."

_Hope froze, this man was the one who appeared in the vision in the oracle drive, he is the one who tried to kill Lightning. Tall, dark hair, a great sword, there was no mistaking it, this man was... _

"Caius!?" Noel cried, it confirmed Hope's dread, Caius had likely come to destroy him. _He had wondered, who would try to kill him? The council of thirteen may be scared of him, but they won't kill him for the simple fact that they are even more afraid of the people... _

Caius pushed him roughly aside, and he fell harshly to the ground, Caius then stepped over him towards Noel.

"No…Noel…!"

He swung his sword, pointing it at Noel's nose, Noel gritted his teeth. "Caius...What are you doing...?"

"You are weak, you can't defeat me, you can't protect anyone. Not Yeul...not anybody."

"You are the one who left Yeul behind!" Noel retorted bitterly_. _

_There was some bad blood between this two. _Hope thought.

"But I can save her, you can't..." Caius said, with that, a bout of chaos energy congealed at the tip of his sword. Hope watched Noel's predicament, gnashing his teeth, angry that the pain was crippling him. He dragged himself upright, staggering forward, realizing Caius was going to hit Noel at point-blank range and he was the only one who can save Noel.

"Die."

The ball of dark energy blasted into Noel's chest, and he was blown off the ledge.

"NOEL!"

The moment, time stopped. It was not figurative, time really came to a halt. The background screaming stilled, all motion ceased, even the air molecules stayed still as Hope lunged forward, his right arm reaching over the edge of grab hold of Noel's ankle just in time while the left one held on to the remnant of the still red-hot fence. The metal started to melt through his gloves upon contact, he had no choice but to hang on grimly as the surface sizzled and heat bloomed across his palm.

"Hope...?!" Noel exclaimed incredulously.

Hope shook his head just as blood began to dribble down his injured arm in rivulets, staining Noel's clothing.

_He hadn't forgotten, who could forget such a hurtful statement? But he know Noel was still a child…Adults don't get angry over children's words._

The pain worsened as the muscle stretched. The metal had eaten through his gloves and steam rose as the hot surface cooked his palm.  
"Hang...hang on…Try to get up." He bit his lip, tasting blood, he was unsure how long more he could hold on for. Caius's foot was too close, and Hope knew he was terribly vulnerable, but he could not just let Noel die.

For some strange, unfathomable reason, Caius did not use the chance to finish either of them off, he simply grabbed Hope's wrist-the one still desperately clinging onto Noel's leg- and lifted both of them up with super-human strength. Hope released Noel the moment the latter could land safely, Noel dropped and rolled away, brandishing his sword.

"Hope!"

_Hope realized that he only used one, he had probably broken something, it was unlikely he could still fight. He was also further off than expected, and Hope realized that Caius was levitating off the ground. _

As if on cue, he lifted Hope to face level and shook him up as if he was drying laundry, "Stop it...!" Hope almost begged, containing his pain through gritted teeth, every tiny jolt of movement was pure agony to his injured arm, more blood dribbled down his shoulder, blossoming across his uniform.

"Hope Estheim, I didn't want to kill you, without the power of a l'ciel you won't be a threat to me."

Hope's cheek-in-tongue reply was, "Please, who needs a l'ciel's power to stop you?"

Caius smirked in apparent amusement, "How then, will you propose a plan to stop me from say, killing you here and now?"

"You can't scare me, Caius." He replied, "...Only I know where the Oracle drive is, if you kill me, you will never find it. If you find it, you will never break the eternity code I encrypted into it. I know all the possibilities, but you don't. Knowledge is power, therefore I am in the position of power."

"You are a smart man, but your so-called power cannot save your life." He mocked.

"My life already ended with the last of my friends and family I left behind in AF 13." Hope whispered. _It hurt, because it carried a grain of truth. Life has indeed left him nothing to go by, he was completely alone…_

"...You mean with Alyssa." The smirk never left Caius's face. "That woman lied, egging me to kill you, saying that you, like Snow Villers, exchanged your life for the power of a l'ciel."

Hope felt his heart skip a beat, a sour feeling of betrayal arose, but he retorted swiftly.

"How different are you from her if you murder me?" He dropped his voice, leaning forward deliberately. "You can't protect Yeul, and you didn't bother to protect her precious memories. Noel's not weak, you are."

"Hope...?!" Noel muttered, his eyes wide.

"You are the true failure." Hope declared. A flash of anger crossed the other man's features, and Hope's blood ran cold as he knew he had crossed the line...

Hope could only watch as Caius lifted his great, black sword, and with a swift thrust, sent it piercing through Hope's heart...

"HOPE!"

Hope felt no pain, only a cold, ethereal feeling of his very being; his soul being sucked right out of his body. He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came forth. Someone was screaming his name, but he no longer knew who. The last thing he knew was Caius's sinister, satisfied smile as he plucked the sword from his chest and released his wrist.

Hope fell, but did not even feel himself hit the floor...

Ooo

Noel screamed as Caius's sword impaled Hope. Casually, he retrieved his sword after a moment of satisfaction watching the expression disappear from Hope's face, then released his hold. Hope collapsed onto the floor in a heap, and Noel dashed to his side, propping him up against him and patted down his back, examining for wounds.

Hope's eyes were half-opened, he appeared to still be alive, surprisingly there was no bleeding, no wound on his chest nor back, Noel was surprised.

Suddenly his body shuddered, and he mouthed words that no one could hear, but Noel read his lips.

_Run, Noel._

After that, he closed his eyes, his head lolled back and remained completely still.

"...Hope...?" Noel's mouth had gone dry, "Hope!", he shook Hope's cold body fervently, there was no more response.

"Pitiful, he had no need to die...I wouldn't have minded an ally like him..." Caius commented.

"He's not dead!" Noel yelled forcefully, Hope was thankfully still breathing.

"That is but a transition phase." Caius replied haughtily, "His heart has been unmade, the body lives but as an empty vessel, unable to sustain without a soul, in 24 hours he will be dead." He gazed at Noel, contempt and cruelty in his gaze.

"I'll let you live...maybe then, you'll understand how helpless you are."

He turned to leave, retreating back into the time distortion, and disappeared just like that. His laughter echoed in Noel's head long after he was gone.

Realization dawned on Noel, and he felt hot tears well up in his eyes, gazing at Hope's pale, unconscious face.

_Hope had treated him like a friend, and did his best to protect him till the very last waking moment… _

_Yet I hadn't been able to do anything for you..._

_Hot tears trailed down Noel's cheeks, his despair burst out of him as a strangled cry. _

Time resumed, and the place came alive. Only that the sun was just rising out of the opposite direction, it was already morning, but Noel could not even feel the warmth on his face…

Oooooo

Disclaimer: FF XIII-2 and its characters belong rightfully to Square Enix, to the victims of the Japan earthquake, to those who need hope.

Hope you guys like this chapter One! There is more than sunshines and butterflies if one wakes up after 400 years and takes control of the situation, there will be resistance, politics, humans have the tendency to destroy themselves once left unchecked. This aspect is something left unaddresed in FF XIII-2.

As for Snow...I have no idea how he got branded again, unless he found some gran pulse Fal'cie...

Mimett, this is something that apparently exist in the FF XIII world, ask captain Cryptic, lolz. (And Behemoth jerky and raucous cheese.)

Number One will become an important character.

Among all the characters, Hope was amazingly the only one who did not see nor hear Lightning, yet he kept on believing in a future where she could live. That belief is beautiful, but also insecure to a certain extent and altogether tragic with the official ending. His mission and driving force is to 'save everyone', which simply does not happen...

I believe in happy endings.

Yours

Ming


	2. Chapter 2:The lamentation of the numbers

Chapter 2: Lamentation of the Numbers

_Hope Estheim asked himself this question many, many times before._

_"Why?"_

_Through the years, he had never been truly at ease, not a single day had passed without him waking up and thinking it was already too late, the worst had happened. Everyone he knew or loved is dead..._

_He did his best to reclaim what was lost, his father had insisted that he finished his formal education, and in that period of time Hope went back to the place where he last saw Lightning every single day. Yearning, desperately hoping that Lightning will show up with Fang and Vanille in tow and give him one of her trademark expression of utter confidence. But each time he was disappointed, all he had to go by was the crystal pillar where his friends slept silently in it's eternal grandeur._

_It was his fault that Lightning did not survive..._

_"Lightning, Lightning!" He yelled helplessly as her hand slipped out of his in the whirlpool of confusion as they fell groundward from Cocoon. Lightning only widened her eyes, and did not have time to make a sound as she was seemingly yanked away by a giant's hand and disappeared among the winds and debris. She was pulled further and further until the tornado gradually swallowed her._

_"Light!"Hope attempted to go after her, but was grabbed on by Snow, who would not let go of him as he yelled. "She will be fine!"_

_"But...!" Hope protested, fighting against Snow. "Lightning...!"_

_Snow was wrong, they never saw Lightning again._

_If only he had held on to her, if only he had been stronger or less tired or whatever, Lightning would not have perished._

_If Snow and Sazh had known his guilt, they said nothing about it. Somehow, only Serah was unwavering in her belief that Lightning had survived the fall and is now somewhere happy and healthy. Hope wanted to believe, but he was unable to find a reason to._

_He had doomed Lightning with his own weakness._

_Thereby, he vowed to better the lives of the people left behind, he knew that it was the least he could do. He was not the most brilliant nor the most talented among his colleagues, but he made sure he worked the hardest. Gradually, he rose through the ranks of the scientists, and when the provisional government needed someone to pioneer time-space research, he was miraculously recommened by more than one department head. Along with a few of his supporters, the Academy was formed, and he became the leader._

_At that time, Hope was 19 years of age._

_In five year's time, he would lose all those who ever stood by him, first Snow would leave on a journey to fulfil Serah's wishes, then Sazh and his son would be swallowed up by a time-space distortion. But in five year's time, he would also unearth the Oracle drive. As he screened through the prophesies inside, he found one that called out to his heart of hearts._

_It was a scene that started out at the base of Cocoon, and Hope's heart leapt as he realized there were four crystal statues silhouetted against the glare of the sun. Not just three, but four. He grimaced a little as he saw himself unclothed, but soon his eyes turned to Lightning._

_She was breathtakingly beautiful in the crystal sleep, weaving strands of crystal had artistically and mercifully concealed the vital parts of her toned and naked anatomy. Even so, Hope found himself blushing and averting his gaze for a moment or two, until the crystal cracked and dissolved in the surrounding air. The sisters reunited at last, there were smiles all around, jokes were exchanged, and they were not the cold, desperate variety that had predominated while on the run with Fang or Sazh. But genuine ones that bore happiness and hope. After that, tears abounded…_

_But what made Hope's heart wrench so terribly was to see Lightning smile, it was a serene expression, and he understood that in that moment, Lightning's world had finally, and most deservedly, became whole..._

_This scene became his vision and his goal in trying to change the future and the past, whenever he gets discouraged or tired, he would recall the way Lightning smiled, and that would spur him to move on. He wanted to believe that he can make it happen, he could right the wrong that he had committed._

_Soon, he received news that Snow has met up with Lightning and Sazh, so has Noel and Serah, that made him a little happy and sad. It was all well and good that they were safe, but it made him begin to wonder if what he was doing was right. If it is, why then did Lightning not attempt to make contact with him? She had showed herself to Snow and Sazh, to Noel and Serah and even to the little moogle, but never to him. More than once, Hope had wanted to turn his back on everything and everyone who depended on him and pack his bags and go adventuring. Sure, the Academy was growing and making unbelievable amounts of progress. But as the organization grew, and Hope assigned leaders above leaders to effectively manage the manpower, those who started out as pioneers with him started to distance themselves, some out of jealousy, others out of respect. Some tried to enrich themselves with stolen technologies while others stifled for power, even though Hope hated this sort of thing, he hardened his heart and crushed them at the first sign of rebellion, knowing full and well that the young organization could not afford to pay for crime. Through it all, Hope found himself increasingly alone. He was on the top, but he was peerless, the researchers valued his expertise and relied on him, but there was no one beside him. Yet, just because of these people who still needed him, he could not bring himself to leave._

_Furthermore, he was mortal, part of him somehow knew that he would only be a burden to them if he even found his friends again. Unlike Snow who chose to become l'ciel again to gain power and immortality, Hope knew he could not bring himself to do that, he wanted to live through with the goal that humans become independent and not rely on the fal'cie's powers. So, he stayed, he retreated to the background and did what he could, he would become the dimensional anchor for Noel and Serah and Snow and Sazh, watching over them and dropping them valuable information and resources through the timelines. And if ever they decide to come home one day, they would find things in good order and a hot meal would be waiting for them, for that, Hope learnt to cook._

_Hope would wait to the limits of his mortality, or till the day he had come to the end of himself…_

_When Alyssa betrayed him, he knew he had almost reached that point._

_Her hands were bound up behind her, and Hope approached her gingerly, taking a seat in front of her. He was still unsure what to make of the situation, part of him was relieved that no one was hurt, and the other part was angry at himself for letting things turn out this way._

_"Director, let me go, please. You won't hand me over, would you?" She asked the moment she saw him, she even attempted to give him an innocent smile._

_"Give me one good reason to let you go, Alyssa. Why…did you do that? Why did you work for Caius?" He asked brokenly._

_"I am trying to save you!" She yelled, "You remember the vision, don't you! If I let you forge ahead one hundred years we're going to die!"_

_"A small price to pay for victory." He said dismissively. "If you're scared, then don't come with me this time. It's alright Alyssa, you've done so much for me already..."_

_"Stop it!" She protested, "Stop saying it like it's some forgone conclusion! There must be a way, the future is what we are trying to change, is it not?!"_

_"If changing it will cause more to die, then no, I don't want that…" He said._

_"A small price to pay for survival." She snapped in turn._

_"My survival was never part of the objective." Hope said with finality, shaking his head. "Not when it is placed in the same equation as five thousand other lives, you know that, Alyssa."_

_When she bit her lip and refused to reply, Hope knew the conversation was over, he got up from the chair and turned to leave._

_"Hope." She implored._

_His footsteps paused, "…Yes?"_

_"I'm just trying to protect you, is that wrong?" She whispered, "I'm just trying to do what no one else would do, not even yourself…"_

_"For a good reason…a good cause. Alyssa." He said without turning, he was tired of having to explain himself, he thought she understood, he thought that she would stand by his decision._

_"You owe these people nothing." She shook her head._

_"You're wrong…I owe these people everything."_

_She bit her lip, taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly. Hope sensed that there was something she still wanted to say, so he waited._

_She whispered at last. "I love you, Hope."_

_Hope drew a soft gasp._

_"I did it because I love you, you don't seem to care. But I don't want you to die… When Caius approached me and offered an alternative, I took the offer…"_

_"You actually believe that Caius is capable of charity?" He turned at last, questioning incredulously. "He would doom an entire city to offer them as soul sacrifices, you seriously think he would bother with one of me in the grand scheme of things? You're a scientist, examine the evidence and tell me I'm right. You have been deceived…!"_

_"If it was the only chance of saving you I'll take it, no matter how slim!" She retorted._

_Hope shook his head, knowing that she was not about to turn around to his way of thinking._

_He walked nearer to her, and gave her a soft peck on the cheek._

_"Hope…?" She asked shakily, tears in her eyes._

_"Thank you, thank you for everything. Thank you for protecting me and being my friend. But I can't, and I won't stay here. I have to go on...even if I'm alone." He whispered._

_"Wait!" She cried, "Director, wait! Don't go!"_

_From then on, Hope Estheim was indeed alone... _

ooo

"There is no mark on the planet or on this plane except for the stray ones the schoolgirls stole, Hope Estheim is apparently no longer in this time." Five reported.

"What about the guards, are they contactable?" Thirteen questioned, "They were guarding Emeritus and his friend, weren't they?"

"We tried, but it yielded no response so far." Five sighed grimly. "All of them…let us assume they are either dead or incapacitated."

"Alyssa is dead, her vitals have vanished since time signature secondary reports from the analysis department confirmed our suspicion, the residue chaos energy from the cell implied that the assassin has crossed the future and past before coming here. His attack, though it leaves the physical body entirely intact, causes death in a short term due to…unknown causes…" Two said to all.

"That's less than 12 hours from the time of the attack...We need to find Mr Estheim, he is not safe." Said Four.

"Damage report?" Three asked of Five.

"Preliminary reports only. Fatality of 17 civilians from the collapsed office sections, 44 missing."

"Missing?"

"Wait! One, have a look! We have signal from the tracers!" Said Five.

"What?! Where?" One crossed over the screens to stand behind Five.

"Right where the same place where they disappeared last night."

"Do we have visual?" Two asked.

"Just a moment." And just as promised, an aerial view of the principal in question popped up on the monitors with his supposed guardian, the 18-year-old who had tailed him around and dragged him to the outskirts of the city for a fight.

_The pair were tattered and torn, it looked as if they have been in and out of a warzone in the last 12 hours it took to locate them. And what was worst was that Hope laid inert, and was not moving, blood blossomed across his arm and chest. The other appeared to be conscious but in a state of shock, he did not move for the first few seconds, then started administering first aid, his movements are jagged, he had probably broken something. _

"Something is wrong." One whispered immediately as dread filled her heart, they may already be too late.

"Don't panic, the tracers reads heartbeat and pulse, both are present, if a little slow. Magnify." Five enunciated clearly, he wanted to make sure as well.

The scene blew up to allow the occupants of the room to see the details, and Hope's pale, unconscious face filled the screen.

"Send a retrieval, Four, get ready." One whispered urgently. Her orders were instantaneously obeyed.

"Yes, Director!"

ooo

"Someone's hurt..." whispers came from all around Noel, the city is waking up, and he collected himself quickly,

_He knew he needed to reprioritize. He had failed to protect Hope, but if there is still a chance to save him in the next 24 hours, he will take it._

He dried his tears roughly as he gave a quick assessment of Hope's injuries. He tore the fabric from Hope's sleeves, using some of it to wrap around the wound on his arm, stemming the bleeding. Using the rest, he bundled around his left hand snugly, swallowing in guilt as he saw the second degree burns on Hope's palm.

"Oh my goodness! What happened here?!" A city patrol approached them, speaking quickly into the walkie-talkie in hand to summon transport. "It's Mr Estheim...! So the circular released by the Numbers is true...What happened?!" The man demanded.

"We were attacked..." Noel muttered, then realized he did not know how to quantify the situation. "...By a time traveler." He finished rather lamely, but the patrol nodded fervently, "Say no more, you need medical attention as well. An ambulance is on the way, it will bring you to the hospital..."

_Noel did not know what an ambulance or a hospital is, but he knew that they can probably do nothing for Hope, and the clock is ticking. _

"No...please, send us back to the Academy HQ...!"

_He was not sure if they could help, he was not even sure whether they would if they could, but it seems like the best chance. They may be walking right into a trap, but things could not possibly get any worse, right? _

"I can't do that, the HQ… has been in a lockdown since last night. Nothing gets in or out."

"It's usually a public place, why just the exception today?" Noel questioned in surprise.

The guard looked grim, "Details are shady, but basically someone was murdered last night. She was killed in her cell, nothing explainable was captured on the surveillance cameras..."

The walkie-talkie beeped, and he turned his attention back to the apparatus in hand.

"What?! ...okay." just as a vehicle screeched to a stop beside them. "Please get in. Number Five has authorized your exceptional request, and has demanded that we send you nowhere else."

"Thank you." Noel nodded gratefully, gathering Hope protectively in his arms.

Ooo

Noel allowed the nurse to stabilize his joint with bandages.

He gazed to his left, where Hope laid supine on the bed in the middle of the cavernous room, covered up to his chin by thick, woolen blankets. His body had gotten steadily colder as they travelled to Academy, his lips now carried an unhealthy purple tinge.

_Noel wondered if it were his imagination, Hope's breathing was soft, but distinctly audible and sounded a little strained. The medical staff was disinfecting and treating his wounds._

A formidable-looking woman strode into the room as the ushers opened it for her, two men were trailing behind in her wake. She was handsome and shapely, her chestnut brown hair tossed to the side as she turned sharply, adjusting her spectacles.

"Apologies, the meeting just ended. Four, update me."

Noel had been observing Four, a man by the name of Xeno, he had run some tests and probes.

Xeno only sighed. Alarmed, the woman pursed her lips and sat down beside Hope, easing off the blanket a little and placed her fingers at the side of his neck. _Noel was on his feet in an instant, he did not know if these people could be trusted, and the woman just touched Hope for no good reason. No sooner had he stood up, the two PSICOM soldiers straddled him and one pressed a gunblade against his throat. _

"Stand down." The woman said without turning around, the blade was removed.

She did not bother to look. "Boy, you are cautious against us, a poor and stupid suspicion, why is that so? Do you perceive us as enemies?"

Noel felt his blood pressure rise, he refused to be treated like a child.

"You guys banished Hope...!" He muttered truthfully.

The woman clicked her tongue, her hands paused. "So we did, but that was merely temporary, we had to call a state of emergency and make security changes without alarming the principal in question, his purposes are far too important for such frivolous details. Is the explanation clear enough for you?"

Noel did not understand those big terms, it was good-old Xeno who took up the explanation.

"Our Director meant that we had to make preparations and step-up security to protect Hope Estheim without affecting his work."

"Protect Hope...?"

"From the potential assassins in three day's time, what else?" One snapped impatiently, and Noel sensed that she was a little embarrassed and unwilling to dwell on this particular topic.

"Four, enough talk, where's the update I requested?"

"Here, the wound on his arm is deep, but it will mend. His core body temperature is now 35.7 degree Celsius, extremely low blood pressure, multiple organ failure. I haven't seen anything like this, two isolated cases and one has died." He passed over some charts, One scanned through them, comprehension in her gaze.

"By multiple you mean all?" She questioned sharply, everything about her was sharp.

"All, gradually but simultaneously..."

"What about the cultures? Could it be septic shock?"

"All clean, except for the fungal culture which is still pending."

"Diagnosis?"

Xeno only widened his eyes incredulously, the effect was magnified as his eyes were mere slits. He mouthed, "Whatever, Alicia." Noel almost laughed at the banter, and would have done it if not for the dire circumstances.

_Xeno was evidently a joker. _

"Fine, prognosis?" In all fairness, Alicia did not get angry as well.

Xeno gave a false smile, and replied sarcastically. "Congratulations, we have possibly found ourselves the healthiest dying person on the planet…"

Alicia gave a long, heavy sigh. Then turned gravely to Noel, she sat up straight like a sovereign, then ordered, "Disarm."

The two guards released him and stood to attention by his sides.

"Tell me everything, do not leave out one single detail. You may provide clues enough to help us save Hope Estheim's life."

Noel bit his lip.

"You won't talk... you don't trust me?" Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Fine, let me guess what that little pea-brain inside your obnoxious, juvenile head is thinking."

"Why should I trust you?" He blurted out, "All you guys have ever done is to hurt Hope."

With that Alicia looked a little more human, her jaw slackened and guilt crossed her beautiful features. She collected herself and regained her composure after a few moments.

"That is a fair accusation, but let me spell out the situation for you, there is no time, we-we as in me, Alicia Montague, and Xeno Zaccharius-are possibly the only people who could help Hope survive. If I was not misinformed, you requested to return to Academy HQ. Proving you have as much need of us as we need of you. The alternative, should you so sadly choose to waste my time, is to wait, and then seek in vain to find pathetic excuses for your utter failure to protect the one person you had so shamelessly pledged to protect. I'm only talking to you because I want to protect this person too. I have seen brilliant men, countless, scores and scores of intelligent people have passed through these halls. But I have never met one more dedicated than he, and I would like to cherish a good researcher…a good man..." She took a deep breath, having said all in one breath.

"And I would appreciate it if we could help each other."

Noel could not find a retort, and the lady just told him their full names, and instinctively, he trusted them.

Ooo

"Alright. The solution is simple, really." Xeno explained, "If Hope regains consciousness, he will live. His soul is still present, but splintered. Now he is lost in his sea of shattered memories, we just have to send someone into his mind and dig him out before time runs out."

"How do you send someone into someone else's mind?" Noel asked shaking his head, simple as it sounded, he did not know where to start.

"Easy, find someone already close to his heart, and take a dive."

They looked around, and found the problem.

"Options, genius?" Alicia asked curtly.

"Let's see, Alyssa would have been my best bet, but she betrayed the order..."

"And is now as dead as a doornail, remember? Next."

_Noel gathered the identity of the one murdered. _

"Those l'ciel who were on the run with him..." Xeno passed out files.

"Two forms the pillar which holds up Cocoon, one zoomed into time space on a motorcycle after proclaiming the assassination. One is an eccentric airship pilot who keeps a chocobo chick in his hair and has been MIA for 200 odd years. The last one, who is probably our best hope, is a guardian Corp under the old regiment, was supposedly was KIA in their bid to save Cocoon." Alicia summarized.

"What now...? There's no time to find any of them." Noel asked.

"That leaves one of us." Xeno said simply.

"Send me." Noel and Alicia said simultaneously, they looked at each other, Noel was quite surprise that she would take the risk. A staring match ensued, and Noel could swear that there were icicles forming on his sword.

Xeno perked up, breaking the ice. "Alicia, we need you to hold the fort here, what if Caius decides to try an all-out attack on HQ? Don't forget, now he knows our names, and our family's whereabouts."

Alicia fumed, biting her lip, turning to Noel. "…Fine, riff-raff."

Xeno pressed a purple crystaline device into Noel's palms obligingly, and began to calibrate some instruments to the side. "To be honest I didn't volunteer because I don't want to face him. Hope has been damn nice to me. But I haven't been so nice...you know, the non-disclosure act..."

"What's that?" Noel could not help but ask, it seemed to be some top secret.

"Hmm..." Xeno bit his lip, his attention mainly on the calibration.

"Since Academy's foundation was established, an act was proposed to ensure the populace does not find another idol to worship, like they did the fal'cies. From that point forth, all governing leaders of Academia will stop using their names and only take on numbers one through thirteen to demarcate their office and when someone dies or leaves their post, the latter simply replaces the former, no names or faces involved." He paused and frowned for a moment, and probed one of the wires absentmindedly. "The populace cannot worship the unnamed. The anonymousity is absolute, my wife thinks I'm a drug representative with a decent paycheck. My mother thinks I'm doing something illegal, they have been evacuated to a safe place for now and told that I have indeed done something illegal this time. It's cool in some ways, like, 'I am Number Four.' But it's kinda cold and lonely too, we used to not know each other's real name. We all did our jobs and minded our own business."

Xeno sighed, "Maintaining this ensures the survival of civilization, we know there is something...or someone eating the timelines, distorting it. if he could find one or two key persons to murder, it would be a catastrophe. And that catastrophe may be upon us now…"

"When Hope walked into my office for the very first, things changed..." Alicia admitted, gazing at Hope tenderly. "He has a name that has been passed down history textbooks, no one could unname him even when he willingly chose to forgo his name and became one of the Numbers."

"In private, he calls me Xen." Xeno added, "Because of him finding out all our names and backgrounds, we found each other's. We became more united because we had each other, but his awakening also compromised security. Because of that, we had to send bodyguards to follow Hope wherever he goes to ensure his safety as he had effectively become the weakest link, he hates it, but if anyone could catches him and tortures the information out of him, it would be disastrous."

In response to Noel's widening gaze, he added, "Yes, they even follow him to the loo, there are tracers implanted in the buttons of his uniform for tracking purposes. So we know that yesterday, the two of you phased out of time, and dropped back in this morning, our guards were not so lucky, they haven't returned."

"Hmm...you guys said One through Thirteen has been taken, so what number is Hope?" Noel questioned, and a touch of a smile hinted at Alicia's lips. She did not speak for a moment, letting Noel's curiosity build.

"Zero, of course. Hope is the beginning of it all." She replied whimsically.

"Now go, and bring Hope back." Xeno pressed his hands in Hope's, and pressed a button.

Ooo

"He looked like he is asleep too." Alicia replied after a heartbeat or two, seemingly resisting the urge to poke Noel. Noel was sitting up with his eyes closed, and the two looked like a pair of living statues.

"Don't worry, he can still hear us. Watch the magic of my Dreamweaver X34!" Xeno picked up a second purple crystal and spoke into it. "Hey, can you hear me?"

There was no response for a while, then the Noel who's stationary spoke in a voice that sounded ethereal. "…Xeno?"

"The whole world is getting to know my name." He grumbled irritably, then became more serious, "Call me Four. Listen, your time is limited, if you find the world dissolving around you, it will be…ah, too late to save Hope. Call me, and I'll get you out."

Noel gave a miniscule nod, sweat meandering down his temple. _The dive to the heart takes a toll on the physical body, and there is a limit as to the amount of time Noel can sustain both himself and Hope. There is a risk about being conscious in a failing physical body, Noel knew that of, course, but he chose to try._

"It will be alright…" He assured Alicia, who looked like she might cry. She is someone who usually gets her way, but does not throw a hissy fit when she does not; she will shelve it for a grand revenge which sometimes involves fatalities for later.

"They are friends, right?" Xeno stated.

"Aren't we friends too?" She whispered quietly, Xeno knew she was referring to her and Hope, everyone knows she had always nursed a soft spot for Hope, who is generally well-received and admired through the ranks of the scientists.

"Alicia…can't you just be frank just for once? All you have to do to gain his trust just now was to tell him Hope saved your life knight-in-shining-armor-style."

Alicia flushed, biting her lips awkwardly, "That's irrelevant." She protested.

An explosion sounded in a distance and Xeno's flippant reply went back down his throat, "What was that?"

Elaine bashed through the doors and ran into the room, she was scratched all over and bloodied, her left arm was missing. She was a terribly frightening sight and for that she was stopped by Alicia's bodyguards, she struggled with them for a moment, then screamed helplessly.

"One! They are coming! They have infiltrated the first and second levels! Five has managed to hold them back but he won't last much longer! They are attacking from the air as well!"

"Don't panic, tell me, who attacked HQ and what do they want?" Alicia commandeered, squaring her shoulders, she has taught herself that panic will achieve nothing.

"A man in black with a big sword…!" He summoned swarms of bioengineered beasts!"

"Caius…? What does he want?"

Elaine only choked out something incoherent, then she vomited, there was blood in the vomitus , and suddenly she collapsed. One of the guards tried to catch her to break her fall, then as it became apparent that she was no longer viable, he checked her pulse.

"Elaine…?" Alicia asked, her voice was shaking. Fearing that a Number had just been added to the list of fatalities.

"…Number Thirteen is gone." The guard declared grimly.

"Bloody hell. Caius…?!" Xeno hissed.

"Four, tell me. What is his name?"

"What?!" Xeno was completely thrown off.

"His name." She indicated Noel again, her features alert and on the edge.

"I think it's Noel. Why?"

"Noel…I'll remember that, just in case." She mused gravely, an unnerving calmness on her face as she stood up, walked a few steps.

"Alicia…you're scaring me, just in case of what?" He demanded, she stopped.

"Just in case any of us don't survive, at least…we will live on in each other's memories. Noel is a good name…" She paused, "The birth of the Lord."

"God be with us indeed." Xeno replied, alarmed as another explosion sounded, nearer than before.

"I'll go." Alicia replied.

"Alic…One?" He quickly changed his address as the doors opened, there are others outside. He was afraid, he wondered if Alicia intended to surrender herself.

Alicia merely turned briefly, giving a sad smile.

"Zero saved my life once, please save him, let me not take the favor to my grave." She asked, "Please."

He understood the gravity of what One was about to do, in that moment they were no longer friends, they were comrades-in-arms. He stood up, holding his fist over his heart to perform a full official salute to the highest commanding officer.

"I will do my best, Director."

ooo

Names. FF characters have fancy western names, in terms of facial modeling, all of them look like a blend of Eurasian colours with Asian features, with only FF IX as a stand-alone oddity in its entirety due to the character designs.

A few of the main characters are named after a natural element. I started with FF VII, so let me start there, Cloud, Squall, Lightning, obvious enough. Tidus means 'Sun' or 'Defender' whereas Yuna means 'Moon flower'.

Then there are those which are plucked from thin air, like Quistis, Zell, Tifa, Serah (*Spoiler for thsoe who haven't finished FF IX, I suspect this is a misspelling of the name 'Sarah', which was Garnet's real name in FF IX).

I did not like FF XII enough for the character names to stick, I suppose Ashe is self-explanatory. Vann is just… "What?"

Noel is an odd name because it defies all FF history and is the only name with a Hebrew origin, it actually refers to 'Christmas', or 'the night God was born.' Another clue, oh please. Kreiss (pronounced 'Christ' but without the 't' at the ending) A little too obvious, no? Essentially, Noel is supposed to be a savior of some sort, the last hope of humanity. The way FF XIII-2 ended basically negated all that…

Hence this fic was birthed. Lolz.

I think Alyssa genuinely cared for Hope's welfare, even if Hope did not reciprocate her feelings, I will give her a little credit for that even if I really don't like her.

R&R pls!

Mingathur


	3. Chapter 3: Fallen

Chapter 3: Fallen

Noel had a surreal sensation of phasing from one world to the next, dematerializing and forming all over again; just like the time he dropped into Valhalla. Only the feel of this world was much more claustrophobic, and he looked around, he was falling through a tunnel with threatening hues of red and blacks.

"Hey, can you hear me?" A voice echoed from all around, resonating from within his head.

"Xeno...?"

"Call me Four. " The other party commented tersely. "Listen, your time is limited, if you find the world dissolving around you, it will be …too late to save Hope. Call me, I'll get you out!"

"Okay..." He said uncertainly, knowing that retreat should not be an option. He needed to save Hope for good reason…

He seemed to fall for infinity and a second, but was suddenly dropped harshly onto a broken train track. He got up gingerly, messaging his arms. Fires burnt around and explosions sent civilians flying. If he had heard enough, this was probably The Purge. Thereby he was in the middle of a warzone, he looked around, trying to spot Hope in the mess.

"Mother!"

Noel turned at the voice, and almost thought he was looking at a little girl.

Hope was much younger and a lot cuter, he appeared to be only 13 or 14 years old, his face was shorter and chubbier, but was not hard to recognize due to his head-ful of silver hair and large green-blue eyes. His face was pale with fear as he ran and cried out helplessly. "Mother!"

Noel turned to the direction where Hope was dashing to. At the edge of the hanging bridge in a distance was Snow holding on perilously to a woman who bore the same soft silver hair as Hope and a serene expression. That must be Hope's mother.

_In that terrible instant the woman's fingers slipped out of Snow's hand, Snow gave a cry of protest. And as she fell silently to her death, her expression was fearless but sad._

Noel could not hear her, but could read her lips.

_"Bring him home..." She had whispered. _

"Noooooooo!" Hope yelled, he looked like he wanted to jump right off the ledge into the abyss that separated mother and son, Noel stood in his path and placed one foot behind him, planning to stop Hope.

But curiously at the last moment Hope did not bash into him, in fact, he passed right through…

That was when Noel realized he would not be able to interact with Hope. He tried shouting, but it were as if he was not there, Hope continued forward relentlessly, unheeding of his voice.

"Hope, don't...!" He yelled just as Hope was about to tumble over the edge.

It was then a girl, the pink-haired one in skimpy, tribal clothing whom Noel recognized as Vanille, she caught Hope in a forceful hold, slapped him out of his daze and led him away.

ooo

The scene changed, and Lightning and Hope were in the Gapra whitewood, they were just about to settle in for the night. Noel realized that this time he was in Hope's head.

Having nothing else better to do, Hope watched Lightning play absentmindedly with the dagger in hand, flicking it out and retracting it in a flash. And for the umpteenth time he marveled at how nimble those long, slender fingers were.

At this point Hope gazed at his own hands, which were smaller and pudgier- wishing that they will become bigger and be half as fast. Noel could not help but be amused, there was a time when he was sitting beside Caius and eating behemoth meat and thinking the same.

Hope knew Lightning's mannerisms enough to know that she is thinking, or more accurately, brooding. She will sit in silence for hours, strategizing the best route to avoid detection. Hope tries his best to accompany her, to provide support and intelligent company as sometimes she will bounce ideas off him, but Hope generally dozes off before she does.

Tonight, she was exceptionally quiet, Hope got a little worried, so he asked softly. "Lightning?"

Those aquamarine eyes turned to gaze at him, and his breath got caught in his throat, he swallowed grimly. Lightning looked extremely severe as she asked a curious question, like his school's discipline mistress.

"Have you killed anyone before?"

Hope startled at the horror of those words, she did not look like she was joking; Lightining does not joke. He shook his head. "No."

_What he had left unsaid is that he did not want to, not now, not ever, not for the rest of his life. If possible, he did not want to hurt anybody, it seemed like an abomination to want to harm or kill another human being..._

_Noel thought at this point that Hope was overtly naive and benelovent. The basis of survival is to forgo all else... _

"Will you if I tell you to?" She pressed, her tones gravely.

"...I don't know." He muttered hesitantly, much as he wanted to please his mentor, he did not want to promise something he could not deliver.

"What if you know that in time, he will kill you, or me if you don't kill him, will you do it? Will you kill him?"

"I don't know..." He shook his head.

"Still?" Lightning repeated, she was clearly disappointed.

He felt a need to justify himself.

"If that's the case, right now I have to kill a lot of people, possibly the whole world..."

Lightning widened her eyes for a little, then bonked him on the head and gave a mirthless laugh.

"That's true..." She muttered. "...the whole world is hunting us down..."

Hope nodded in congruence. Nowadays, there seem to be a constant black cloud of doom that follows him whenever he goes, sometimes it was hard to prevent it from paralyzing him with fear.

"But Hope…" Lightning implored softly, a trace of her feminity was revealed in that rare instant, and Hope paid attention. Knowing Lightning had something important to say.

"This is the nature of mankind. When it comes to choosing between yourself and another, there should not have been a choice. The basis of survival is the instinct of self-preservation. Surely you know that…"

"I do." He muttered uncomfortably, he knew where the talk was going.

"And if killing one person will cause an entire generation to live, then will you do it? Will you kill?" She asked thoughtfully.

Hope swallowed. "Yes. I think so..." He muttered half-heartedly.

"...Don't cry, Hope."

"I'm not crying!" He protested.

Lightning only smiled wanly.

"I know...but you look like you might."

"Oh." Hope bit his lip, slapping himself inwardly, he tried to hide his face.

"You know, Hope, maybe it's because you are the youngest among us, your heart is still pure and your hands still clean, and..." she ruffled through his hair playfully, and for some reason, took his hands in her larger ones; holding them.

Hope realized that Lightning' hands, slender as they were, were calloused and colder than his own.

Absentmindedly, he cupped both of hers in his tinier and chubbier ones, trying to warm them.

Lightning's smile was incredibly sad.

"I'll do all I can to make sure it stays that way. Someone like you...should not be made to dirty your hands..."

Till this day, Hope did not know if he was being praised or reprimanded...

ooo

The scene changed, and Noel realized they were back in the headquarters at Yaschas Massif.

The scene was unfocused. Chances are, Hope's memories were blurred at this point, and Noel gazed around till he found Hope lying on a couch at innermost corner of the place. He was in his uniform, his lanky form stretched out across the surface, sleeping fitfully. There were a couple of files spread across his chest. But he looked quite unwell, his lips were bloodless and his skin was pasty white. A sheen of perspiration coated his brow, where a wetted cloth laid.

He coughed harshly, it resonated deep and sounded like there was fluid in his lungs; like a drowning man.

_Noel frowned in concern, anyone whom Noel had heard coughing like that eventually brought up blood and kicked the bucket after a few days_. The possibility that Hope was dying scared him.

Hope clutched his chest in seeming discomfort as his eyes fluttered open, he looked terribly tired. Alyssa came beside him, she was packing up some supplies.

Someone shouted from outside, "Miss Alyssa, the chocobos are saddled!"

_Amazingly it was Gadot's voice, and Noel had never thought about it, but upon his and Serah's departure, the NORA gang would try all means and ways to find their leader and princess, and would eventually end up working for the Academy as mercenaries... _

"Thank you!" She yelled back, then turned to look at Hope, concern in her gaze.

"Good, you are awake." She checked Hope's temperature using a tympanic thermometer, "We make for the research HQ at New Nautilus, they have a Hospital wing there. Come on...the airlift will be here in a few minutes, we gotta ride out to the pass."

"Why should...?" Hope asked weakly.

"That was not a suggestion." Alyssa interrupted him testily, dragging him upright, the cloth slipped off his forehead and Hope tried in vain to catch the falling files as Alyssa slapped his hands off. "Leave those, I have asked Mrs Eliza to take over the work here! You've been sick for more than a week already..."

She cursed uncharacteristically as she consulted the display, "Goodness, still above 40 degrees!" Alyssa gritted her teeth. "Come on!" She grabbed his wrist.

"There is no time for this..." He declared, resisting her even though he was quite breathless all from talking.

"No time?!" Alyssa almost screamed, and Noel realized that she was even scarier than Serah when she loses her temper.

"I know you have work to finish before we go into the capsule, but you can't choose when to fall sick! So get your sorry behind on the chocobo before I kick you there!"

Still, Hope shook his head and would not barge, and Alyssa was not heavy enough to wrestle with him. She sighed irritably and stamped her feet in circles while waving her arms, but it did not seem to provide any reprieve from her frustrations. Ultimately she squatted down in front of Hope and pointed a finger at him.

"I'm warning you, Director. If you choose to be so stubborn I will ask Gadot and Yuj to somehow subdue you and tie you to the chocobo's back. They will do it to save your life!"

Hope gazed listlessly at her, then without warning, fell forward. Alyssa gasped in surprise, then moved to catch him, balancing his head in the nook of her shoulders. The scene drifted in and out of focus.

"Director?" Alyssa pleaded, patting his face urgently. "Don't scare me...wake up. Please...?"  
For a few dreadful moments there was no response from Hope, all that could be heard was his laborious breathing. Then slowly, he opened his eyes.

"I was..." Hope whispered, "Just thinking, maybe...I haven't done enough..."

"What are you talking about?" Alyssa asked shakily, she looked like she was on the verge of crying.

"The seeress was right…I never had the resolve…to kill anyone..."

For a moment Noel was shocked, wondering if Yeul appeared to Hope and what she may have revealed to him that made him land up in this current state.

"Maybe that's why...Lightning appeared to Snow...to Sazh, and not me..."

"That bothers you...?" Alyssa questioned, her jealousy so obvious it was heart-wrenching to hear. "You think she doesn't trust you...?"

He shook his head a little. "It's just...everyone's fighting...everyone has gone off on a journey to save Cocoon, only I'm still left here...stuck with a cold..." He said dejectedly, and Noel understood why Hope was so upset about falling ill.

_He felt like he was wasting time, he was afraid he will make mistakes..._

"Hardly a cold, you moron." She chided, worried, then added as an afterthought. "More likely pneumonia..."

"...I can't...I can't afford to waste any more time...!" Hope choked out, and with that, a single teardrop rolled down his cheek. Noel felt heartache, he had perceived Hope as an impregnable fortress of strength, of love, of hope. And to see someone so mighty crumble like that was more terrible than he can bear…

Hope covered he face with one hand, coughing all the more. "I'm sorry..." He whispered incoherently to no one, and tears welled up in Alyssa's eyes, she wrapped her arms gently around Hope.

"You don't have a choice..." She declared, sniffling. "You've been working really hard, you've done your best. It's hardly your fault for falling sick at the critical time, your friends will understand. And...we are making great progress..."

"It's not good enough." Hope said.

Alyssa shook her head in disagreement and she cried a little more. "That's not true..."

Hope did not comment, he only seemed to focus on breathing normally. It was obvious he was in distress, and he seemed to fall asleep for a while from exhaustion, the surroundings winked out for a moment, but Hope forced himself to stay awake. After a while, he did not open his eyes as he whispered questioningly.

"If I died...do you think they will…understand...?"

"Don't talk like that!" Alyssa snapped, squeezing her eyes shut, her hold around Hope tightened.

"It's not the time to be discouraged, Director. You'll be just fine..." She patted his back.  
"You don't have to be afraid, I'll stand by you..."

Hope hesitated, unmistakable elation in his expression that manifested as a fleeting serenity. After a moment or two he shook his head slightly, his cheek rubbing across her shoulder.  
"That's nice, but you better not, you might fall sick too..."

Suddenly, Hope inhaled sharply, after that he coughed non-stop. The scene darkened and faded with Alyssa shouting for Gadot in the background as Hope lost consciousness...

The venue changed suddenly, they were in someone's house, it was a nice comfortable living room that resembled Hope's current dwelling, with beautiful lamps and a cushy sofa. But the atmosphere in the room was so stale that it was suffocating.

"Not going to work today?" Bartholomew Esthiem asked Hope good-naturedly as he came out of the room in a rather uncharacteristic white outfit that was obviously meant for comfort. Hope was as pale as the outfit he was wearing and somehow thinner and more careworn; Noel wondered how long it had passed since the last scene.

He also sensed that this one was different as Noel was actually able to feel what Bartholomew felt. There was this untold sorrow, bitterness and repressed anger that made Noel feel like throwing up. And he gazed curiously at Hope's father, he was a little afraid even though he knew they cannot see him.

Bartholomew Estheim was a confident, severe-looking man with thinning yellow hair and beard, he looked just like the one in the photo frames in Hope's living room. Bartholomew made the clothing comment as usually he would expect his son to don a sharp, smart-looking yellow and white Academy uniform embellished with elegant silver clasps. It was clothing befitting of his status as the Director of research and the leader of the reformation in the provisional government.

_In many ways, Hope was doing more than that. He was only 26, but he is the man who laid the groundwork for the new city temporarily named Academia, and one day, that city will serve the needs of the populace remaining on Cocoon. He was the one who determined that humans should learn to stand on their own two feet and no longer rely on the fal'cie as they have always done… _

Noel felt a gush of pride from Hope's father at those thoughts, but Hope did not know that, he would not give a reply, only squeezed out a tired, dodgy smile. "I am..."

"Are you sick?" Bartholomew asked, he laid a palm on Hope's forehead, Hope evaded his hand.

"…You're working too hard." Bartholomew declared.

"Father…Don't you remember?" Hope asked gingerly, still seemingly unable to look his father in the eye.

"…Remember what?"

Hope finally gazed into his eyes with his soft blue ones. "I'm leaving today…"

Bartholomew remembered, of course he did.

_It just seems as if denying it will somehow lessen his sense of loss._

_He had known this day is coming, he had known it since three years ago when Hope started working like a mad dog to iron through the ambitious intricacies of politics, of city planning, of research plans in the next few hundred years. It was work that would have taken the best of minds a lifetime to finish, but with sheer blood and sweat and comrades who shared the same vision of saving humanity, Hope condensed it into a mere three and a half short years. He set off a series of plans that are self-sustainable and wound up like clockwork so others will be able to put them into execution, and aimed to meet the plans on the finishing end._

_It just happened that the finishing end was in more than 400 year's time. _

"Do you really have to die?" Bartholomew questioned, surprised that his own tone came out sounding so utterly bitter.

_He had lost his wife, now he was going to lose his only child…_

Hope gasped softly, and frowned at the accusation. He replied eventually. "I'm not going to die, father….I'm going to live…" He whispered, and added, "…and I'm trying to make sure everyone lives…"

Hope sighed, his breaths stirring Bartholomew's beard. "And no one else will die, not mother…not anyone else…" He bit his lip, his platinum blonde hair suddenly looked white as he implored tiredly, "…Surely you of all people understand..."

_Bartholomew did understand, but understanding did not make him less selfish. Understanding did not lessen his pain, understanding could not give him his wife back…_

"I wanted…waited to see you marry." Bartholomew confessed softly. "Have kids of your own…"

Hope looked stricken, guilt crossed his handsome features, Bartholomew knew he was being unfair, he knew he was hurting Hope, but he went on.

"I pray that your daughters will be as beautiful as Nora…"

Hope only shook his head.

"Look at this, father." He requested, pain in his voice as he peeled back the edge of his sleeve to reveal a faint, convoluted mark.

_It was the mark of a l'cie. Even though it had pretty much faded off, it was still an alarming sight after all these years. So much so that Hope had never worn so much as a short-sleeved shirt without causing panic in the immediate vicinity._

"When I was branded a l'cie 13 years ago…and mother killed right in front of me. I should have been the first to die…I wasn't strong and motivated like Lightning, Fang or Snow…nor cunning like Sazh and Vanille…Lightning taught me to fight, to defend myself. Vanille smiled at me, she encouraged me to move on, and Snow…you know what he did." Hope did not continue for a time, he took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. When he looked up again, his face was filled with anguish.

"These are debts that…can never be repaid, father." He whispered with finality.

Bartholomew remained silent. But Noel knew there was enough temperature within to cook an egg.

"…Now Fang and Vanille are trapped inside that crystal pillar. Lightning has gone missing, Snow and Sazh left their families behind to search for her. She's alive out there… These people are not just my friends, they saved my life. How can I sit home and live out my existence and be happy and watch them die?"

_Bartholomew understood Hope's pain, but did Hope understand his? _

"You speak of debts that can never be repaid…What about me, Hope?" He questioned bitterly.

_Hope owed him his life too, as much as he owe all these people he was trying to save, so why must Bartholomew get the shortest end of the stick?_

Hope widened his eyes, this made Bartholomew harden his heart.

"You poured in everything you had, every shred of strength and wits you had at the expense of yourself, you have neglected your family, your friends. Above all, ignored your health, and you were dishonest about it." Hope flinched at the scalding remark, looking down, but Bartholomew was not finished.

"Don't think I don't know, young man, your PA told me everything." Bartholomew emphasized on the word 'everything'.

"Alyssa was…! I'm sure she exaggerated. I was fine…it was just a..." Hope stuttered, even Noel shook his head, it was a poor, poor save which only added fuel to the flame; and Bartholomew narrowed his eyes menacingly.

"I wonder who 'exaggerated'?" He crossed his arms and replied sarcastically. "They sent me the full medical report while you were in coma, they might as well have sent me your body in a coffin. Hope Estheim, you may be the brightest star in the night sky, but don't try to bluff this old man, I'm an old man and you worried me half to death." He scoffed.

Hope frowned, and defended himself. "I'm alright now, okay?"

Bartholomew then tightened his fist as he forced himself to deal the finishing blow.

"…I have no son like you. Get out of this house, please." He said evenly.

Hope gasped softly, tears pooled in his eyes. _Bartholomew whispered a silent prayer that Nora will forgive him…he knew it would break her heart to see Hope's expression of grief, of rejection…_

Hope bit his lip, but would not shed a tear. Determination shone anew in his startling blue-green eyes.

_Bartholomew felt a gush of bitter-sweetness in his heart, the little boy who would run to his mother for the smallest disturbances is now a grown man. And grew up he did, enough not to cry, enough to make his father proud and sad at the same time. He just needed to follow his own path, and Bartholomew will stop at nothing to ensure that nothing will hold him back, especially not this old man…_

"…Alright." Hope stood up, and sank into a low bow, he held on there for half a minute, not speaking, then uttered in a low voice.

"Goodbye, father. Thank you…thank you for everything. And…" Hope pulled out a card-like object from his pocket, Noel had seen the device before, it was where the citizens of Academia kept their money, he could not understand how seemingly endless amounts of gil can be squashed in this one square of metal polymer. But so far it has never failed.

"This is for you..." Hope whispered.

Bartholomew did not reach to take it, and Noel knew that in Uncle Estheim's heart, he would rather Hope kept it for himself, he had more than enough.

With that, Hope placed the card on the dining table. He walked out of the house, and never looked back.

The surroundings dissolved.

Suddenly they were back in Academia, and the terrible moment reenacted itself. The sky was ominous as Caius pierced through Hope's chest with his great sword, the difference was that this time, there was a lot of blood. Drabs of crimson splattered and sprinkled onto the pavement as Caius forcibly plucked the sword free of the fatal wound, and he cast Hope unto the ground.

Noel was alarmed as he ran to Hope's side, but was unable to touch him, his hands would pass right through. He had a chilling realization, this was not just a memory. If it were, then there should be another Noel; the memory Noel beside Hope screaming his head off. And Hope should not bleed like that.

He felt his hair stand as Caius turned to gaze directly into his eyes. "Congratulations. You have walked right into my trap."

Ooo

Noel swallowed hard to hide his panic, "What do you mean?!"

Caius laughed, "You really think he's worth protecting? You really think this mere mortal is comparable to Yeul, whom you were supposed to protect?"

"Hope is not Yeul..." Noel answered, and startled as he realized Hope was in horrible pain as the death rattles settled in his chest. He was bleeding copiously, thin streams of blood trickled down the corner of his nose and mouth, forming a sharp contrast against his pale skin. His breaths were coming in short, sharp gasps as he attempted to curl up upon himself, his limbs moved spasmodically, smearing scarlet all over the floor, the effort was piteous to watch. And Noel found himself going nearer, even though he could not touch Hope, he wanted to offer comfort to his dying friend in some way.

"Hope…" He called shakily, not knowing what else to say. "It's okay…"

_The surroundings started fraying and fragmenting as Hope's consciousness faded, and Noel knew Hope's time was running out, he had to drag him out soon, but Hope does not even realize he was there._

"This… isn't what happened...what have you done to him?!" Noel demanded of Caius, he would very much rather that the one who was stabbed was him instead.

"This whole thing was just a parade…to show you that he is not as noble nor as perfect as you think. He will betray everyone to save himself." Caius leered down at Hope.

"No, he won't...!" Noel realized Caius true motive at last.

Caius smiled. "Watch." He said simply, using the tip of his sword, he drew a line across Hope's cheek, teasing the dermal layer. Then stabbed his sword right through Hope's shoulder blade and pinned him onto the ground. Hope cried out in agony, Noel could barely bring himself to watch. "Hope!"

For such a massive wound, the bleeding was minimal. It was logical, there simply wasn't much more left to bleed out…

"Stop it!" Noel begged, "Don't…!"

Caius simply ignored him. "Hope Estheim, I know you can hear me." He gave a rare, satisfied smile as he pointed out the obvious.

"You are dying."

"No…!" Noel cried helplessly.

"…Do you regret this ending?" Caius droned on in amusement, "Are you angry with yourself? So much left undone…so many things you could have achieved were you not thwarted by imbeciles, limited by mortality, by politics..." He said silkily.

Miraculously, Hope opened his eyes one final time, gazing ruefully at Caius. But it seemed that he could not, and did not get up. There was a lifetime of sorrow on his brow, he coughed, and droplets of crimson splattered onto the ground.

"What if I told you I can help you? I can travel through time, I could spare you. I can do the same for your friends, no one else would die. If you join me, you can go back and save your mother's life... you know you can."

Hope's expression brightened with that notion, and he looked torn as he panted.

"No, Hope, he's lying! Look at me!" Noel yelled desperately, Hope remained oblivious to his voice.

Caius merely smiled, stretching his hands out merrily towards Hope.

"…Join me… and you can free your friends from the pillar. You can have one more chance to live your dreams, you can have everything you ever wanted. You don't need to die here..."

Painstakingly, Hope stretched out his bloodied hand toward Caius, Noel could barely bring himself to watch, his heart sank as he was unable to believe what he was seeing.

"No Hope, no! Please...!" He muttered, tears brimming in his eyes.

"_Noel!?" Xeno called, "Come out…Hope's vitals are dropping...!"_

Noel was not listening, he simply watched holding his breath, and felt his heart miss a beat as Hope hesitated for one last moment...

'_Hope...please.' He prayed silently, 'I believe you…' _

Then Hope took hold of Caius hand with one decisive stroke, it was a historical moment, and Caius smiled smugly.

Hope smiled too.

ooo

When he spoke, Noel heard the ridicule in his voice.

"You damned Lightning...You brought her to kill herself..." Hope paused, coughing out what resembled barking laughter as sinister tendrils of electricity suddenly danced and crept up Caius arm. Caius was alarmed, but was unable to let go, a blood rune had been forcibly branded onto his arm, holding him in place.

"I'd sooner...kill myself than ally myself with you…!" Hope yelled.

With that, the magic engulfed Caius whole, the explosive force erupted from the rune on the ground with power enough to bring down a city. Noel wondered briefly for a moment when the runes were drawn; and it had been drawn in blood.

_There are three known ways to enhance magic, one is runes, the second is lifeblood. The first was used often enough, but the second was too messy and potentially life-threatening if big-scale magic was involved due to the sheer volume needed to complete the field. But potent and destructive when used correctly, Hope had done precisely that, he drew one in his own palm and one in the ground when he was stabbed, ensnaring Caius in the trap._

"What is this?! What have you done?!" Caius struggled to pull away from Hope in vain, the latter only smiled. With a snarl, Caius raised his sword, and cleanly severed Hope's arm.

"No!" Noel cried, but the deed had been done. Caius shook off the nerveless forearm and attempted to put as much distance between himself and Hope, he was panicking.

Noel yelled and ran forward, trying to get closer, but he realized there was a paling that prevented anything from going in; and coming out. Caius hacked incessantly at the magic barrier, but was unable to break through it.

_Noel was scared and amazed, it usually takes a circle of magicians to summon and hold a paling in place, but Hope alone could make one strong enough to imprison Caius and his seemingly indefinite magical talents._

Hope whispered, Noel could not hear him in the cacophony of magical eruptions that magnified within, but was able to read his lips.

Hope had called his name.

Noel gazed at Hope, wondering if he could see him."Hope…?!" Noel gasped, he understood Hope's resolution.

_But Caius can't die! If he died, the heart of chaos goes with him..._

"Noel…I...know you are there...I sensed you in my head..." Hope said, "I'm sorry you had to see all these...leave. Before it's too late…"

"What?! No…! No!" He protested, even then, he knew it was in vain. Hope was too far committed to turn back the casting.

Hope smiled most serenely and turned in the rough direction where Noel's face was.

"Hey...I won't kill him...I can't...knowing he is your friend..."

_Noel felt a breath being caught in his throat. He had skillfully and delibrately refused to mention his relationship with Caius and Yeul. But...in that moment he realized he had taken always taken Hope's gentleness as weakness...For Hope, someone most dear to him was taken forcibly from him, therefore he refused to kill anyone...just so others will never have to face the same pain as him..._

"Hope..." He gasped, at a loss for words.

"And...what I said to you before, it wasn't fair...I'm sorry...I had fun..." Hope closed his eyes, looking every bit content.

"No..." Noel stammered, "You are not a coward!...I know now, I won't take you for granted anymore. No one knows how much you gave up, no one understood your pain…Hope, stop the spell!...Don't die!"

The smile did not leave Hope's face, but now it was laced with sadness.

_By some means, Hope's eyes fluttered open again, this time his pupils were dilated and unseeing, but somehow he managed to gaze directly into his eyes._

"Goodbye, my friend..." He whispered with finality.

Meteorites of burning brimstone smashed into the magic field, screaming violently as it blew into smithereens, causing the ground to quake and shatter. There was no escaping magic like that, especially when the caster had decided on a showhand.

"HOPE!" Noel yelled as he was swept away from the area…

Oooooo

Some trivial, Hope is the character with the highest magical stats in both final fantasy XIII and XIII-2. That's cool!

Magicians are generally viewed as background warriors because they generally have lower HP and physical defense, also, it takes time to charge spells. This is evident in games like FF IX and the 'Tales of' series, (eg, Tales of Eternia, four characters, two controllers, Keele and Meredy charge magic while Farah and Reid rushes forward), the time lapse seemed to have disappeared in FF XIII.

I'm praying hard! For Lightning Returns, may Hope be a completely playable character unlike the half-hearted efforts in FF XIII-2. There was information that Hope was supposed to have chocobo riding data and a section about how the player's choices can save him and Alyssa from certain death in the Augusta tower, I'm a little disappointed that these were not included as it would have made the game a little more…satisfactory. If I could work in Enix I will also try to ensure that Lightning has a happy ending, hopefully with Hope. I think they will be quite a cute couple.

*Imagines scene:

Hope: Lightning! Are you alright? *hugs Lightning like he did when he was fourteen…*

Lightning: *Stares for a while and let Hope hug her impassively* 'Hope?'

Hope: *Pulls away* Yeah?

Lightning: You are so…*a pregnant pause, Hope looks expectedly at her and holds his breath.*

'...Tall.'

Lolz. Something like that for an ending will be nice.

Come on, who needs to have Serah running around with a Barbie doll's arsenal of a wardrobe? I'm genuinely disgusted…-.-"

I'll take more Hope and Lightning and Fang on any day! Lolz.

Enough of my ranting, review pls!

Till chapter next!

Yours

Ming


	4. Chapter 4:The space between life & death

Chapter 4: The space between life and death

Before Hope went into the time capsule, he took time to catalogue the visions and prophesies in the oracle drive.

He planned to hide it thereafter to protect it from falling into the wrong hands. It was a terribly laborious and tedious process, but something utterly strange happened as he approached the end.

He heard a voice speaking as the next and final vision started. Strange, for it was one which had never been there when the visions were catalogued by scribes and historians.

It was a woman, or more accurately, a girl. And the stranger thing was, she called him by name. "Hope...Hope Estheim..."

Suddenly he was whisked away into a barren world, his office simply dissolved around him and the walls were replaced by endless, gloomy skies. The sun shone mercilessly through the clouds still, and it was an uncomfortable and ugly world. The rocks were hideous and dry as bones, there was not a single drop of water, not even in the air. And he took a deliberate deep breath, noting that it stripped his windpipe instantly of moisture, it became uncomfortable to breath, with that little experiment he also knew that he was not hallucinating.

Near him stood a mysterious girl, she has the same silver hair as Hope, but it was long and worn loose. She had metal, tribal ornaments braided into the two sides of her head and a veil slung across.

_Her appearance was young, maybe 14 or 15, but her eyes told a different, timeless tale of an indefinite age._

Instantly, he knew who she was. And he greeted her as a gentleman should, he extended a hand.

"A pleasure to meet you, Seeress. "

She gave knowing smile which was as enigmatic as her very existence, it was warm and unguarded, and Hope liked her immediately.

"You knew me, but I will never know you. You who will one day inherit my memories. Come, Hope Estheim, walk with me."

After that she gazed pointedly at his hand, seemingly wondering what to do with his hand for a while. "Ahh…" and when Hope got awkward and decided to drop it, she took it and led him along. Her hand was soft and fluttered like a little bird.

He fell into step beside her, firstly as she was a girl and secondly as he felt indebted to her in many ways. In essence, he felt like he had raided her tomb...

"What are you...?" She asked.

"Excuse me?" He asked, caught completely off guard. "Erm, human, I guess. .."

_It was a lame answer, and he regretted the moment he said it and bit his lip awkwardly._

She laughed, genuine warmth in her grey eyes. "I can see you are a man. As in, what do you do for a living?"

"Ah...I'm a...physicist." Hope answered, finding a moment to categorize his job.

"…Are physicists all so tall?"

He laughed, a little awkwardly. _He had always thought it was Alyssa who was short._

"Not all, I guess." He replied eventually.

She smiled, then turned around, cupped his cheeks and looked him in the eye. Hope was a little shy at the sudden intimate contact, and averted his gaze.

"Hope Estheim. Look at me." She requested.

He did as was requested, making himself look up, and it was the first time he noticed that she still is so child-like. Her nose was short and delicate, and her eyes large and hopeful. He felt a little heartache, she was about the same age as he was when he was turned l'ciel. And he wondered why fate and reality had to be so cruel...

She released his face, smiling in a sorrowful manner. "You have beautiful eyes...Like the colour of clean, healthy skies." She gazed longingly at the sky, as if willing them to turn blue upon her words, and Hope found himself sincerely wishing that with her. He wanted to bring some beauty and fruitfulness into this barren world if he could. He wanted to help her fulfil her wish...

"It will be blue one day..." Hope whispered in return.

She laughed in the same mirthless way so uncannily similar to Lightning.

"How long will that 'one day' take to come?"

"Dunno, give me 500 years and I'll try." He joked.

She laughed again, this time in a knowing way. "You know, you will." His heartbeat quickened for a moment.

She gazed afar, as if envisioning her words. "You will build the greatest civilization known on Gran pulse, you will hear children laughing on the streets you drew blueprints for, and you will turn the sky blue…and the sun will be warm and kind. And all in 400 years."

"Wow." He concealed his exclamation, swearing to tell it to Alyssa the first thing he got back. His heart was set at ease, it would mean that they will survive the time capsule...

"But, I see it now..." she suddenly took his hand and whispered with the ethereal voice of a thousand voices.

"Seeress?"

"You have a beautiful heart as well, but that will unmake you. It will destroy you, unless you choose to destroy first." She squeezed his hand so hard that it hurt.

"...!" Hope gave a muffled gasp. It was the same as the conversation Lightning had with him those years ago...

"Can you do it?" She pleaded, and almost begged. "Can you choose murder? When the time is ripe and the destroyer comes, will you choose to turn your back on everything you are and annihilate the threat to your world?"

"I...!"

With that, she touched his forehead, and a vision flashed before his eyes.

_There were two great animals fighting, a white lion and a panther. Day and night by contrast. The animals were enormous, they made the trees and bushes look like toothpicks. The panther was sleek and fast, and much more vicious and aggressive, it made multiple attempts to kill whereas the lion evaded to the best of its ability._

_At last, the panther sank it's teeth into the lion's neck. Down they went, massive masses of fur and power, and the lion trashed, blood was everywhere. Then the lion somehow noticed the miniscule city by its side, and twisted out of the panther's grip, blood flailing from it's tore arteries. It tackled the latter onto the ground and raked through its breast bone with sharp claws. It dug deep- literally- until the panther stopped trashing, and bits of internal organs lay everywhere. Then the lion collapsed atop the dead panther. It was a gruesome and nauseating sight, Hope stared unblinkingly at the pair, knowing this is his fate that the seeress was trying to show him._

"Choose, to kill or be killed. That is the way of life..." She whispered, utter grief in her voice.

She turned to him gravely. "You will be the one who can kill Caius..."

"Caius...!" Hope felt a shiver down his spine as fury rose in his heart. _That man was the one who dared bringing his blade to bear against Lightning. And by extension, if it were fated that Hope will have to face him one day would mean that he must have cut down every obstacle in his path..._

"That man will kill Lightning...?!" He stammered in horror.

_Lightning, the strongest warrior he had ever known. His protector, his friend...!_

"No...!" He muttered in frustration, biting his lip, he was shaken to the core.

"It may not be a matter of my choice, I don't know if I can beat him when Lightning cannot..." He confessed softly.

"You're running from having to choose." She frowned and pointed out unabashedly. "You are an extremely gifted magician, of power unheard in centuries. And you know it, you have been training to increase the strength of your artes, just so your magic will never wane. That is why Alexander obeys you even now…"

"Shiva obeys Snow too." He pointed out.

"Snow is l'ciel, you are not."

Hope swallowed grimly.

The training were true, he wanted to be able to defend himself and the citadel. He was easily the strongest magician in The Academy, perhaps that was why sometimes even Bahamut will fly by occasionally when he summons, perhaps drawn by the beacon of his magic, he also saw Hecatoncheir before once or twice. The poor creatures looked a little confused, as if wondering where it's summoner was. Bahamut allows Hope to soothe it and ride it, but Hecatoncheir takes flight before he could get close, and usually ends up in some sort of random mischief; quite like its owner…

_But he was not sure whether that was enough..._

"It will be..." She whispered, as if reading his mind. "You will be the one who chooses, you will be the dam between your world and utter destruction. If you fall, all will."

"That's no choice..." he replied desperately.

_The truth is, Hope did not want to kill or hurt anyone..._

He had only intentionally hurt and almost killed one person before, and that person is Snow, and he had regretted it forever since, even now the weight of guilt was still enough to leave him staggering and cowering in shame. Especially when the person still saved his life and protected him immediately after...

_Wounds like these heal, but they leave a scar that speaks eternally. No matter how bleak or seemingly evil, there was good in the depths of human souls. If he could not believe that, he would have given up and died a long time ago._

"Caius may be...evil..., like you say...he may have killed many and destroyed more...he may even kill Lightning..." Hope muttered, gnashing his teeth, the Seeress only gazed at him impassively.

"But...that does not give me...or anyone else the right to murder him."

She widened her large eyes at that...

"Even if he will potentially do...or may have done terrible things. He's still human...he still has people who care about him. I'm not saying that I know a lot, but don't all of us? I don't know his motive, but he may very well be trying to protect something...or someone he loves...that someone may be waiting for him to go home..."

With that, tears sprang to Hope's eyes, he was unsure if he was talking about himself.

_He himself was waiting for Lightning; for his friends to return home...It was hard, but he would wait till he come to the end of himself. _

He hadn't realized that the young Seeress was weeping quietly as well, she held his hand, looking like she wanted to scream. But that moment passed and she was somewhat composed again.

"I can't do that..." He whispered with finality, "I don't have the right to take that away..."

He sighed heavily. "He's a person…Nobody has the right to take that away..."

"I won't kill him."

That moment, it seemed that a death sentence was passed. The ground started to churn restlessly, a scream started in that background, and Hope moved defensively in front of her.

"What…?!" He questioned.

Suddenly the brittle world turned even bleaker as the skies turned dark ominously. A scream, sounding like the voices of a thousand slain began sounding in Hope's head and seemingly all around. He covered his ears as the cacophony of noise pierced his eardrums, causing a blinding headache.

_"Away with him!_" They said in unison. "_He is unworthy of the cause_!"

"No!" Cried the Seeress. "Ancestors, let your anger not burn. He is but wavering...He will return to the path!" Then she turned to Hope. "Come on, get up!"

"What are they...?!" He asked, scared but curious. They reminded him of the fal'cies, the way they spoke and command; the way they writhed and grieved.

"The lost souls of the dead..." She answered curtly.

"They were counting on me for...revenge...?!" He stuttered, mysteriously miffed.

"Yes..." She whispered, tears in her eyes. "Run! Quickly..."

"But you...!"

"They won't hurt me, they can't..." She said gently. "Live...Survive...for the sake of the future..." She pleaded one last time, looking so torn when she did.

"I..." He whispered.

Then the noise rose with a crescendo, "_He is unworthy! This abomination shall be cursed with death!"_

Before Hope could gasp in surprise, the spirits stole over and surrounded him. An acute pain burnt into his chest, he crumpled in agony and shock. Clenching his teeth to contain the horrible pain, the Seeress was shouting something, but he could no longer hear. The pain was all consuming...

_Ten days you have to consider these words _

_Minds will clear when you hang on the verge _

_Of life, of death, of the terrible urge_

_To choose survival, to murder and hurt..._

Hope took a deep breath.

He was facing the ceiling, and Gadot's big face obscured half his vision. "Boss? You okay...?"

Hope nodded shakily, a hand on his throbbing forehead."...What happened?"

"I found you on the office floor."

With that Hope realized that no part of him was touching the floor, he laid suspended-bridal style- across Gadot's heavily muscled, powerful arms. Gadot had lifted and carried him from the office, and they just passed through the door of the infirmary. The nun was as usual, fussing, and shooed anyone who was staring out of the way.

"Director...? You alright?" A colleague asked, and Hope felt his ears burn, by tomorrow the whole world will know that he had fainted.

"Put me down, please, I'm alright." He lied, his embarrassment did not allow otherwise, even though his head was spinning and his limbs felt cold and clammy, he needed to salvage whatever he had left of his dignity.

"You sure?" Gadot pouted, then shrugged. Hope felt a distinct rise and fall, a little like riding a small boat in open sea. "Whatever you say, boss."

His steps shuffled unsteadily when his feet touched the ground, and the nun pushed his shoulders gently, prompting him to sit down on the bed. "You are as white as a ghost, you need to sit down and recover, if not you'll lose consciousness again."

He swallowed, nodding. The nausea reduced a little when he sat down, and his hand went to his forehead.

_He wondered if it were real, the Seeress, the prophecy, the curse...  
_  
His own body will answer that question in the next ten days. He would go to bed exhausted, and wake up a little weaker and a little bit sicker. The sickness was so stubborn it refused to be thwarted by potions and remedies, his fever climbed steadily to the point where he simply could not focus anymore. And constantly felt like he was on the verge of falling over, meetings were cancelled, contracts were delayed because he could not finish examining the clauses or made mistakes in presentation.

Alyssa tried hurrying him, but he simply cannot hasten his work pace. He could feel the judgmental and condemning gaze of the board members and other researchers alike at his overall incompetence. His main disadvantage was that he was young, people did not tend to take a twenty-something-year-old seriously. The problem was, now he was unable to make it up with detailed preparation and fluency...  
_  
He did not blame them for judging him, they were right._

On day six he sat in his own room past midnight, coughing his lungs out. In the past, when he was on the verge of panicking, Lightning had taught to take deep breaths and still his mind, 'In war, cool heads prevail' was her motto.

It used to work, but the issue was that now he could not quite breathe deeply. Any attempts simply triggered another coughing fit that left him breathless and in pain. His ribcage was distinctly sore from exertion, and his body was coated in cold sweat, he shivered from fever and muscle cramps.

He blinked away tears that had mysteriously gathered in his eyes...

_Hope was scared, so scared that he wanted to run helter-skelter, to panic to scream. He thought that if he had faced a fate much worse than death itself, then there was nothing he should ever be afraid of ever again. He was wrong on two accounts, one, he was still scared, and two, there was nothing overtly frightful about death, it was the dying part that was terrible. Even though he wanted to, he did not allow himself the luxury of such commonplace responses…  
_  
Over the years he had taught himself to frustrate privately; and in a productive fashion. If screaming and worrying and crying did not help, then he won't do it, he will channel the energy to something more effective. Only now there was simply no solution, no amount of plotting or planning will enable him to save himself.

_The possibility that he was dying felt so surreal even as he acknowledged it. And he knew that Lightning will despise him for despairing. She never believed in giving up, Hope did not want to as well, but he did not know what it entailed to 'Not give up' in this instance._

He told no one, not even Alyssa, and he doubted if anyone will believe him if he told them what he had seen. The doctor gave him medicines that made him drowsy and tired, but did not seem to ease the symptoms...

"I'm sorry..." He whispered to no one, to everyone, with that, frustrated tears fell from his eyes.

He felt like he had let these people down...he whispered a silent apology in his heart to his father, whom he had not spoken to for a good part of two months, to his vice-director, to Alyssa, to Fang and Vanille and Snow, to Sahz and his son and the cute chocobo chick.

_To Lightning..._

With that, he coughed again, and when his hand came away, he realized in alarm that there were speckles of crimson.

He closed his fists, letting his hand drop.

When he woke up the next morning, he could not even find strength enough to lift himself off the bed. And he had a funny dream of two people leaning over him and speaking like chipmunks, they were gibbering, and he only caught words like 'facilities' and 'emphysema'.

For first time, Hope considered just sleeping in...

He despised himself even as the thought formed, and with that peeled himself off the sheets forcibly, gasping at the sharp pain that originated from his side, "Wha...?"

He curled up for a while, waiting for the pain to subside. Then gingerly, allow his feet to find the slippers, then stood up with all the strength he was capable of...It had never felt as ardous to change into his uniform.

But he had decided, even if he had to die, he will die fighting. Not anyone else, but himself...

ooo

_He opened his eyes, his vision was blurred and he found himself gazing at a white ceiling. It took a few moments for him to collect his bearings and remember that it was the third day since he had been brought to the hospital. He could not remember anything of the fateful journey to New Nautilus beyond Alyssa's cries for help and heavy footsteps tromping into the HQ, which he assumed was Gadot; no one else walks with such gravity. He had since been diagnosed with pneumonia and hence kept in isolation, it was simply a provisional diagnosis since that in essence, he was not sick and medical science can do nothing for curses. _

_He knew he was getting worst; though the doctors would not tell him so._

_His airways were filled with fluid and the infection has spread to the lining around his lungs, filling the space with blood and pus and compressing his chest, he was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. _

_The pain was now constant and throbbing, it worsened when he coughed, trying to clear the fluid from his lungs, but his efforts were in vain. He could barely find enough air to stay awake and his fever never subsided. Hope felt like he was drowning slowly, he was nauseous and giddy with asphyxiation. He tried, but could not even find strength enough to lift himself off the bed, his limps were cold and numb. He wanted to panic, to get up and curse his body for this untimely sickness; but he could not do so. _

_He did his best to remain calm when Alyssa gowned up and approached him, looking as if there was something she did not want to say. These days, she was constantly on the verge of tears, she got reprimanded for not taking good-enough-care of Hope, and Hope was guilty for it as it was simply not true._

_Alyssa was his research assistant, not his nanny. He comforted her repeatedly to the best of his creativity and ability, but he had not seen her smile for days. She sat down beside him for a while, and it took her a few minutes before she finally uttered. _

"_They told me…You need to write a Will. And I'm supposed to help you do that…"_

_Hope was not surprised. With all the speech he was capable of, he said only three words. _

"_Bring Eliza, please…" _

"_What…?" Alyssa asked blankly, then realizing what he meant and that he would not repeat himself, she stood up and nodded, "Alright. Hang on, I'll call the Vice-director now."_

_Hope nodded appreciatively and closed his eyes for a bit, swallowing to moisten his throat. He waited, he did not know when he drifted off into unconsciousness, but he awoke to someone patting him on the shoulder. _

_Eliza Chivaroy appeared beside him, only her intelligent olive eyes were still visible through the get-up, but Hope recognized his Vice-director immediately. She is a 48 year-old bioengineer who was widowed by the purge, her child had sustained head injuries in the chaos and subsequently died. In essence she and Hope were denominated by a sense of loss and survival's guilt. _

_She was a researcher through and through, her excellence and brilliance and experience sometimes made Hope think that she deserved the position far more than he did. But she assisted him well and willingly, choosing to retreat to the background on the grounds that she did not want to deal with hypocrites and idiots. She was funny to boot, often making their hectic work-life a little more entertaining. Unlike Alyssa, she is completely autonomous in her work; and often her opinion of things. If she thinks Hope should sleep more, she doesn't ask his for his opinion, she simply dopes his coffee with sleeping pills. Then laughs at him when he wakes up somewhere in the middle of town…_

_She smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes; it was the first time Hope saw tears in them. "You asked, so I'm here." _

_He gave a minuscule nod, and with the last of his strength, he reached to take her hand. His actions were retarded and jagged, and when she realized what he was trying to do, she cupped his hand in both of hers, delicately avoiding the needles. _

"_Hey, you don't have to worry, I know what you want to say, I am here to say it to you." She sighed, and looked him in the eye, "Director Estheim, I'm your man. I'll see the projects to completion, I don't like those morons in the government, but I'll do my best to communicate with them. And if need be…I'll travel 400 years into the future in your place to levitate the new Cocoon. There are intricacies in the work that I may not be familiar with, but Alyssa will help me." She tilted her head towards Alyssa, who nodded contritely behind her, hiding her face._

_With that, Hope's fears dissipated like a mist, he nodded fervently to express his gratitude; he could do no better. Tears of relief sprang to his eyes, if he died, his only, and eternal regret will be that he was unable to do anything he had set out to do…And he hoped that with this, his friends will forgive him, and he will finally be released of the terrible burden that had plagued him since Lightning's disappearance… _

"_Thank…you…" He whispered._

_She only tweaked his forehead playfully, "Don't say that. This doesn't mean that you can slack and skive off, I say it just so because you can stop worrying and focus on getting well. You are still young and you're the bravest person I know, surely you'll pull through this. You still need to come back to the field and fend off those dreadful, oversized cockroaches. Without you, they are multiplying like nobody's business." _

_Hope squeezed out a smile. He recalled the initial cockroach infestations at the pass and how no female researcher would willingly step out into the plains. All it took was a little fire magic, easy-wheezy._

"…_I'm sorry." He had whispered with finality to his vice-director. _

_Hope was falling, falling through nothingness._

ooo

Noel opened his eyes, and took a deep, deep breath, he gazed around in bewilderment.

He was back in the physical realm, Hope was now in front of him, looking paler than ever, "Hope...?" There was something stinging his palm, he looked down to realize that the crystalline device in his hand has shattered. His blood ran cold...

"Are you alright?" Xeno asked, shaking him. "We almost lost you as well!"

"...As well...?!" the phrase resonated in his head like a death declaration, confirming his dread. He took Hope's wrist, and pressed two fingers across; there was nothing, no pulse, nothing.

"Oh no..." He shook his head, "It can't be...!"

"It's no use..." Xeno muttered in despair as he buried his face in his hands, "...and we just lost Alicia. Give it up...Hope is gone...His heart has stopped, within four minutes his brain will shut down too. There's no hope..."

"It cannot be...!" Noel cried, taking Hope's shoulders and shaking his desperately.

"Hope, come back...come back!"

Ooo

"Hope...Oh, Hopey~~~." There was someone calling his name in a sing-song voice, that voice was so familiar that it pleaded with his consciousness, seeking to be recognized.

"Kiddo! Wake up..." Someone actually pulled his ear at that. This voice was lower, more woman than girl, and threatened physical violence.

_He shook himself, trying to blink out the grogginess in his pounding head._

"Fang..." the girlish voice berated, swatting the hand off his ear and laughing, "Hope's hardly a child now, look how handsome he is. Oooo, he's waking up...!"

_Fang...? Then the other one must be..._

Fang retorted coolly "Still reckless, still a kid."

With that, Hope forced himself to open his eyes, and looked around listlessly. His gaze fixated on Vanille's face, then Fang's.

"It's about time." Fang said as she bonked Hope on the head.

Hope crawled to his knees, staring unblinkingly at his comrades; his friends, those whom he had tried so hard to save. They haven't aged at all in crystal stasis, they looked like what they did those years ago as they battled against the fal'cie. Unbidden, tears came to his eyes, and he realized he did not know what to say.

Vanille did her ice-breaking magic, she shrouded Hope in an embrace, whispering. "You've been working so hard."

He hesitated, then slowly, his arms wrapped about her, returning the hug "I'm sorry...I'm really sorry..." He sobbed, broken.

"For what?"

"...I couldn't save the two of you...!" He whispered miserably. "I..."

"Don't apologize..." Fang said with finality, punching him lightly on the shoulder. "Not yet, it's just not yet time."

He looked up, gazing at Fang, "Really? But...I...am I dead?" He stuttered.

"Almost, pretty much..." Fang scratched her head while Vanille screeched simultaneously, "No! Don't say that, you'll be fine..."

Fang laughed, as if amused at his empty worry. "Nay...the only reason why you are able to see us now was because you did not give in to Caius's temptation. You would only be truly dead if you did."

Hope felt his jaw slacken as Vanille explained, "We have been watching you through the timelines, what you did, how you protected Serah and Noel...Your soul is fragmented almost beyond repair, and you will need to go back soon or you'll sucked into the afterlife. We are somewhere in between those two realms."

"I...don't know how to go back..." He confessed after a while. "Where...are we...?"  
He gazed around for the first time since he had awakened, taking in his queer surroundings. They were in an empty space, there were no sounds, nothing. The ground beneath was rough grey stone, there were no walls, only a void, a blanket of stardust beyond where land ended. It was a timeless place, even the air felt stale. In the middle of the floor was a large hole, a majestic and intricately ornate throne rose from the middle of the chasm. Seemingly anchored to nothing, but as Hope gazed upon the figure on the throne, his throat ran dry.

A crystal figurine sat atop the throne, beautiful in eternity, she was evidently female, and his eyes widened when he recognized her face...

"Lightning...?" He cried, leapt to his feet and started running towards his friend. Fang took hold of his lapels bodily before he got too near the edge. "Kiddo, watch it! It's a long fall."

"Why...?!" He questioned in distraught, struggling against her grip. "How...? She couldn't have lost to that bastard...!"

_Of all the possibilities in the oracle drive, he had prayed hardest for this particular one not to be true. It could only mean that Lightning was defeated by Caius, and would be stuck in Valhalla for eternity..._

Vanille yelled, "Hope, listen! Lightning never lost, and she did not lose to Caius...!"

"Then why?" He demanded, unable to take his eyes off the crystal statue.

_Lightning was as beautiful as ever, her hair was swept to one side, each strand frozen in eternal glory. She looked solemn and regal, like a high judge, an empress; a goddess. But there was a trace of anguish on her beautiful face, as if dark thoughts were plaguing her in her crystal sleep. _

"She is trying to protect something..." Fang declared.

Hope gave up struggling. He just slumped against his friends, completely spent, and crumpled to the floor. Strength seemed to drain from his body...

_In the end, all his efforts, his life, his work, his achievements, his sacrifice was all for naught. He could not save this one person he fought so hard to save. And he could not even muster the strength to cry, he wanted to, but his heart was exhausted and strangely empty, just as his hands were..._

And Vanille gasped as she held him tighter, he suddenly realized his hands were turning transparent. He was starting to feel light, and in some sense, contented. It feels as if the molecules that made up his body were evaporating, and he gave in to the silent draw.

_He closed his eyes, willing to stop feeling. _

_It's over..._

"Hope, come on resist it! It's not time to give up!"Vanille implored, pulling away. She slapped him once. "Snow knows this too. One day, you can save the world, you can save Lightning. You have to survive!"

"Really...?" He perked up, dragging himself out of the stupor. "I...can...?"

"No more time for questions, go back, now!" Fang snapped, "...Shut up and listen to that boy's voice, he hasn't given up, he has been calling you...Follow him back before it's too late...!"

Hope followed the advice, stilling the buzzing in his head and listened. The inner voice magnified, though indefinitely small, it was unmistakably Noel who was screaming urgently at him.

_"Hope, come back!"_

"Lightning will reawaken! And you will save her, but you have to be alive to do that! We were not able to be with you, but you have new friends now…" Vanille gazed gently into his eyes and said with forced cheerfulness. "Go...! Go back…"

He studied Vanille for a while, and nodded. Then turned to gaze at Lightning longingly one more time, climbing to his feet.

He squared his shoulders like a soldier and looked at her, paying his respects befitting of her as a friend, also as a warrior.

"Lightning. I…"

Suddenly, steps congealed out of thin air, they seemed to be made of nothing but a soft blue light. He watched in amazement as the steps continued to form, gradually bridging the chasm between him and the throne with stairs made of ethereal light, it was an open invitation.

"Wow, that has never happened before." Fang whistled, appearing completely unfazed."Well, go."

Hope swallowed, and stepped onto the first step gingerly, the blue light bore his weight as would solid ground. And it seemed as if he consisted of light as well. He tested by shifting his weight a little, then made his way up the stairs swiftly.

_As he ascended, he felt courage fill him and wrap around his heart like a security blanket. He realized he was eager to be by Lightning's side, it would always feel so safe for he knew she would always defend him. _

But now, as he stood before her and gazed at her gentle but strong features, his fingers slowly reached to brush non-existent dirt off her cheek.

_Somehow… this time it had become the other way around. It was his turn._

Hesitantly, he reached her arms around her and held her cold, unyielding form in his arms.

"Lightning...You have always protected me...now I will protect you..."

He paused, letting out a breath.

"I promise..."

With that, he felt at ease, as if the universe had suddenly become whole, and he yielded to the draw to evaporate into nothingness. He closed his eyes with a sigh. it was bliss, knowing all is not lost...

At least he would still remember her in this eternal moment...

Ooo

Noel's head jerked up as he realized there was a throb beneath his hold. He stopped yelling for a moment, and as he touched Xeno's back, "Stop sobbing, see..."

There was a bloom of colour across Hope's cheeks, it was followed by a gasp, like a diver surfacing out of the deep, then a few dry coughs.

He opened his blue-green eyes, looking around until he found Noel. As he got up, his actions were jagged, as if he was having trouble coordinating. But his eyes were clear and determined.

"Thank you...you did not give up..." Hope whispered in gratitude.

"Oh my goodness!" Xeno exclaimed, "You're...!"

"Alive, I believe." Then added in afterthought of jest. "Not quite a zombie. Hi, Xeno."

"Hey…!" Noel gushed in relief, resisting the urge to throw his arm around the miracle, it was Hope who gave him a one-arm hug, "Rest for now, it's okay."

"What…?" Noel questioned just as a wave of nausea and giddiness swept past his senses, and he would have vomited if there was anything in his stomach.

_He could feel his heart pounding in his ears and he could feel his hands shivering, there was a feeling of being suffocated, and he panted and took in large gulps of air, trying to get enough oxygen into his lungs. It was nothing like the fatigue he had experienced before, it was something else. Hope's face shifted in and out of focus as his vision swam, Noel turned to Xeno for explanation, suddenly afraid._

"It's the reflex reaction from 'Dive to the heart'", Xeno whispered worriedly, examining his pupils and placing a hand over his heart, counting. "He pushed himself too hard…luckily no fibrillations." He turned to Noel, "Hey kid, well done. You gotta sleep for now, you body will recover on its own."

Noel only nodded grimly, Hope shifted and laid him down gently at that.

_He did not want to rest, he knew that now that Hope is awake, he would jump straight into battle, and Noel had failed to protect him once, he did not want to fail again. It seemed unfair and dreadful to sleep while Hope fought with the worst adversary ever, but his body demanded otherwise._

"Sorry…" He gripped Hope's wrist, Hope only shook his head, "There's nothing to forgive, "You saved my life…so I can face my destiny, it is enough. Sleep."

He obeyed, and before he went under, he whispered to Hope. "Don't die."

"…I can't promise that." He bonked Noel on the head playfully, "But I'll try."

Ooo

Hope is an adult and Noel is not! But actually I liked the interaction between the two.

As I looked through the info for Hope's characterization from FF XIII and XIII-2, I realized that there is a marked theme, a hallmark for his character. If I have to place a caption to it, it will be 'The gentle giant', or 'The martyr'. Someone who is so acutely acquainted with loss that he cannot bear to see others fall prey to the same hurt, and would stand at the forefront of the tide of sorrows and be the first to sacrifice himself. In essense, he and Caius are quite alike. Caius is not evil, just the other side of the coin, we think he is, because players perceive from Lightning's side of the story. And interesting-and irritating- thing about the game.

Lolz. I am an all-for-lightningXHope fic.

Like I mentioned in the last chapter, in Lightning returns, let there be lots and lots of Lightning and Hope interaction! Come on, Enix, you are into popularity votes, aren't you? Mwhahahaha!

The next chapter will be the last.

R&R ppl! Thank you!


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